I slept here alone last night, but they told me I got to be at the Moriarty house at four in the morning the day of the wedding to help ready. I got there at five and got a earful from Ronan, who was already up and giving orders to the staff. These strawberries aren’t ripe! he was complaining when I walked up. And the iced cream must be chilled and salted, or someone will be fired.

Hello, Ronan, I said.

He saw me. Miss Wilde, he snapped. It is a clock. It has a face, with hands and numbers. Read it, and direct your life accordingly. Katherine has been upstairs for an hour.

Rose with her?

Yes, of course. Where else would the bride be? Honestly. Ronan went back to the workers, who was walking past him with trays of food. He picked up a piece of ham and sniffed it.

I was trying to find my way through the house, which seemed larger than I left it, when a little boy ran past me. I stopped, peering at his walk. It was unsteady. His hair was dark curls and he couldn’t of come up higher than my knee. I didn’t recognize him. Then I heard, Edward! and a real pregnant woman came round the corner. She was pretty and young, and a few shades darker than me.

She saw me and smiled. Can you catch him? she asked. I nodded. I went and grabbed the boy, holding him up like a rascally cat. He was giggling, and his face was covered in crumbs. I would of recognized that nose anywhere. This Edward Wallings? I wondered, bringing him back. He was more boy than babe.

Yes, she said. Do you know him?

He’s my nephew, I answered. I ain’t seen him since he was real little.

I tried to hold him to my chest like I done before, but he wiggled away from me. Ba! he complained. What? I said. I’m trying to love you. The girl began to laugh. He’s fussy, she said. He needs a nap. Then she looked to me. I’m Minny.

Harris’s wife, I said.

Quite luckily.

Well, I said. Ain’t that sweet. It was, actually. She was glowing. It’s fine to meet you, I said. I’m his half-sister, Sophie.

I’ve met your twin, Minny bubbled. She paused, and winced. Her hand went to her belly. How much longer you got? I asked, and she said, Two months, about.

Edward was still trying to break free of me and he had begun to sob, big loud sobs, and I soothed, Hush. I got you. You like candy? I can wrestle you up some. Edward kept on bawling. He smacked me across the face trying to escape my arms.

Fineas and Callum came around the corner together. They were already in their dress suits, which were black with fitted waistcoats beneath. Callum’s tie was knotted perfect but Fin’s wasn’t, and neither of their hair was brushed. I swallowed. Fin always cut a swell, but he was dreadful striking cleaned up. You aren’t supposed to see us yet! Fineas laughed. We’re on our way to pick up our shoes.

I couldn’t think of nothing to say. I’m sure I was staring. Fin grinned at me, then he saw Edward. Eddie, he said. What’s wrong, sir?

You met Edward before? I asked. Minny said, Fineas plays with them in the yard every morning. I frowned. Them? I said. Fineas said, All the children. When I raised my brows, he winked. It’s exercise, he said. Wakes me up.

I tried to imagine Rose and Michael’s four and Margaux’s two, and Fin corralling it all gladly, and I couldn’t. It sounded like a punishment to me. Fineas put his hands out, and Edward leaned in to be taken. I passed the boy over. Fineas growled, and Edward went back to being giggly. He tossed Edward in the air and caught him. Then he put him up on his shoulders. I’ll take him, Fineas said. We’ll have an adventure.

Minny said, Are you sure? Margaux asked that I tend him.

I told Minny, Don’t listen to my sister. Everything she says is wrong.

Fin laughed. Of course, he said. Edward will be good, aye, Eddie?

Edward coughed. I think he choked on a crumb.

Callum waved to me, and I waved back. I’ll see you at the altar, Fin said to me. He was still grinning. He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I flushed.

We watched them go. He got big, I said. Edward. Last time I seen him, he was half that.

They grow, Minny agreed. When I looked back to her, she smiled. There was freckles all across her face. Let’s find the bride, she said.

Missus Moriarty was in her room, surrounded by ladies. At first I didn’t notice anyone else. She got all my attention. She was on a stool in the early morning light, her dress flowing around her. Her hair was in a bun but it was pinned up by pearls and tiny flowers. Her cheeks were high and blushed, and her skin was creamy. Her eyes ain’t ever gleamed so. She was a sight to behold.

Oh, Rose, I said, softly. I ain’t even got words.

She saw me then. Sophie! she gasped. Come here! She put her hand out. She was on a stool while a seamstress hemmed the bottom of her train. I walked over and took her hand. You excited? I asked. I’m sick to my stomach, she whispered. I grinned.

You still got time to back out, I joked, and she said, No, it’s only that I want it over with already. I’m ready to be married. Rose squeezed my palm. It’s the ceremony, she admitted. I’ve never done it before. I worry I’ll trip on my gown.

No, I said. My heart was all filt up with affection. I murmured, You won’t trip.

I’m glad you’re here, she said.

I’m glad too, I said. Then I looked around. Beulah was in a chair, so I supposed Pop was in town. I hadn’t seen him in a time and wasn’t particular intent on doing it soon. Margaux was in her gown already, and Kitty was fixing her hair. Michael’s daughter and Daisy and Verona was playing dolls on the floor. Minny had sat down with them to join.

You ought get ready! Missus Moriarty urged. There’s only three hours till the wedding, and there’s so much to do.

I said I would, and Kitty was putting the last pin in Margaux’s hair when she noticed me. I have your gown, Kitty said, sourly. You can follow me. We’ll dress together. Margaux glanced at me. She didn’t look mad. She mostly looked curious.

Your boy got a arm on him, I said. Margaux said, Mine? I nodded. Me and Minny caught him in the hall, I said, and he walloped me in the face before Fin took him.

Fineas has my child?

Yes.

Margaux sighed, but then she shrugged. As long as Edward’s happy, she answered. She went back to the mirror. I looked down at Verona, who was tinier than her brother. She was wearing a pink dress and satin slippers, and licking her doll across the head.

Me and Kitty went to a adjoining room and there was our gowns, hung up prettily. Kitty shut the door. I require help undressing, she said sharply. I frowned. I can’t figure why you bothered with a fuffy gown in the first place, I said. You couldn’t wear a robe down the hall?

A lady’s robes are for her boudoir, Kitty replied. And her boudoir only. She does not simply bandy about in them in her home.

I rolled my eyes but she ignored me. She turned around and lifted her arms, and I unbuttoned all the tiny buttons going down her back. She just stood there, so I finally pulled the gown over her head. Petticoats too? I asked, and she replied, Of course not. Put the other gown on.

I ain’t your slave, I said.

I’ll help you, she retorted. She cut her green eyes at me. So I went and got her blue gown, and pulled it over her head. It laced up the front. I came around. Our heads were bent together as I tied it up. Knot at the top? I asked. She said, Bow. I did. I was real aware that I was brushing her bosoms, but she didn’t mention it.

I stepped back and said, There.

Kitty didn’t say thank you. She just did a little snakey dance to make sure all her parts was fit in right, and then pointed to me. Dress off, she said.

I didn’t bring a corset, I said.

Of course you didn’t, she snapped. I have an extra. I assumed you would forget. I also assumed you forgot petticoats. I didn’t answer. Kitty stared at me, lifting one dark eyebrow. Go on, then, she said. Remove your clothes.

You don’t got to look, I said.

But Kitty just started tapping her foot, so I sighed and pulled off my dress. I only got a camisole and bloomers underneath. She gazed at me, very slow, like she was deciding what to do with me. Both of her eyebrows was up now. Your underpants may stay, she said. Your camisole is not required.

I didn’t move to take it off, so after a moment she walked over and jerked it off me. I put my hands up to cover my bosoms. Kitty went to the wardrobe and pulled out a corset. She said, Lift your arms. I tried to do it while covering myself modestly. Kitty finally tugged my hands off so I was top bare, and snapped the corset in place around my bosoms. There, she said, briskly. It was hardly an ordeal.

Sorry, I said. I’m shy.

You oughn’t be, Kitty replied. Your scars are a bit off-putting, but your breasts are quite nice.

I blushed a deep red. Kitty seemed happy to have flustered me. She smiled. They’re small, I said. Kitty said, So are mine. Large ones are for wet nurses.

She went to getting my petticoats on, and my gown, and I stood there. Kitty had not had any kind words for me since we met and I never expected the first ones to be for my flat bosom. Thank you, I said finally. You’re welcome, she answered. She paused, making a bow in the front of my gown. Then she looked up at me. Her eyes were still keen but not so unkind. Margaux misses you, she said. She speaks of you often.

I didn’t know, I said.

No, she replied. Of course not.

Kitty was still holding my gaze. I felt a bit discomfited. After what seemed a long time, she went to the door and unlocked it. I followed her back to the roomful of women and girls in their party dresses.

Everything after that was busy. Daisy fell and busted her mouth, and Minny took her downstairs to get cleaned up and mended. Ronan came to the door to say the roses weren’t arranged to his tastes, and Margaux said she would help, as she very much enjoys arranging roses. Thank the heavens for you, I heard him say. At least we have one good worker.

Rose had to get to the church before everyone else, so we sent Kitty out to make sure no one else was in the halls. I didn’t want Michael to see her. I carried her train down the front staircase. It was a hassle to get into the carriage, even with how big the one they picked out was. It wasn’t the one Fin showed me. That was for the afterward, I was told, from the church back to the home for the reception. The one we got was a real daisy white one with room for four, which was the bride’s carriage. Problem was Rose’s gown was two folks worth.

We rode over together. She reached across the seat and held my hand, and I looked at her. She was already tearing up. Don’t be worried, I murmured. I smiled at her. This is going to be awful special. I ain’t going to let anything ruin it.

I’m not worried anymore, she whispered. I was thinking something.

What?

When I was a little girl, she said, my da used to come in after trips. He traveled often. He left all of us at home, with the nannies, and when he came back, he would have toys. Rose rubbed her wet eyes. He used to say, What would you like? to us. Anything, he told us. Ronan always asked for– serious things. Bibles. An abacus. Donovan wanted clothes.

Fin probably wanted telescopes, I said, and Rose laughed. She nodded. Aye, she said. Books, too. And Cormac wanted bats and clubs. And Callum wanted drums. To feel the vibrations.

What did you want?

The only thing he couldn’t ever bring me, she said. A sister. Her fingers curled around mine. I’ll have one now, she whispered, and a little tear came to her eye. I couldn’t think of nothing to say. I was so touched. I leaned over and held her tight. Then I started getting tight-throated too, and I whispered, You ain’t going to be my Missus Moriarty anymore.

No, she said. I’ll be a Wilde.

That sounds fine, I breathed. I pulled away some. Her pins had loosened, and I tucked one pearl up. I was smiling, but I felt a little quivering in my lips. I got out, That’s the finest news I heard all year.

I thought that would be the end of my sentiments for the day, but by the time the ceremony got started, and we got to walk up the aisle, I was a mess again. I ain’t usually a sucker for weddings but I got such a feeling of joy and hope, all the way to my bones. I had to walk down the aisle with Donovan, because Fin got picked for best man and was already at the altar with Michael. When I came toward them, Fin breathed in deep. His eyes locked on mine. I saw him all cleaned up for the first time, and I could hardly stand it.

I took my place with the other bridesmaids, and glanced to Michael. He and Eliza ain’t got hitched like this. Theirs was a wedding like mine had been. It was country and simple. I remembered that old story all the sudden, the one Eliza told bout the ring of thread and honeysuckle vines. Michael looked at me, and for a moment I expect his thoughts was with Eliza too. I love you, I mouthed at him. Michael gave me a real wonderful smile. I love you, he mouthed. His hair was new cut and blonder than ever.

Then the doors opened at the end of the cathedral, and Mister Moriarty took Rose up the aisle, and I almost couldn’t look at my brother no more because of how reverent his face was. It was how I think folks in the Bible must of been when they see angels. I was getting all teared up again. I am turning to a saphead in my ripe old age.

I snuck a peek at Fineas. He was watching his sister. His eyes and hers were the same sparkling blue.

Then it got real dull for awhile, and I stopped being softhearted and grew bored. It was a lot of talking and reading passages, and vows. I am going to forget all that part when I remember it later.

Finally it was over and they was married, and they didn’t kiss at the altar, but as Ronan was showing them to their fancy large wedding carriage, I saw Michael lean over and catch Rose by surprise. She was holding her bouquet. She put her hands on his face, and the flowers brushed it too. He had a little scratch from one of the thorns on his brow, but I don’t think he ever noticed.

I had to ride back with the other women. Me and Margaux ended up seated across from each other. Verona was in her lap, wailing. Vera, Margaux scolded. Stop fussing. She was holding her daughter by the arms. I watched her a moment, and then said, You want me to try?

She’s the most difficult child, Margaux sniffed. I don’t know where it comes from.

I couldn’t figure, I said.

I put my hands out. You hate children, Margaux said, almost distrusting, and I admitted, I’m trying to be a friend to you.

She blinked her big eyes, but finally, after Verona pulled out one of her earrings, she had enough and passed her daughter over. I didn’t have nothing but the bow on my dress, but I let Vera play with it.

I don’t know if we was late but by the time we got to the reception, it seemed like it was going on a long time already. Guests were milling everywhere. They had already popped bottles and bottles of champagne, and the garden fountain had been colored red. Donovan said it was romantic. Red is the color of love, he told us. It just looked like a awful lot of blood to me. When I said so, Donovan retorted, Well, I suppose the heart spreads that as well.

Fineas found me then. He already got us glasses. You look beautiful, he whispered, handing me one. I smiled. No, I whispered back. This is a ugly dress.

He laughed. It doesn’t do you justice, he admitted, but you wear it as well as could be hoped. He clinked his glass against mine. We drank. I peered in my glass, and Fineas said, It’s not you. It’s terrible. They’ve saved the best vintage for supper. I chuckled. Fin turned and saw the fountain, and frowned. Aye, he said. That’s grisly.

It’s romantic! Donovan argued. He was on his sixth glass of champagne. The art of art itself is lost on you. He grabbed another drink off a passing tray and skulked off.

We going to dance tonight? I asked Fineas. I smiled. He grinned back, frisky. We’re going to do anything you like tonight, he replied. I am at your service.

I took his arm, and we was inseparable the rest of the reception. We went and saw some senators, who was having conversations almost as boring as the priest, cept it was about politics instead of religion. Smart money would be on Douglas, one man said, and a another man said, John Bell might give the fellows a run. Fineas said, My money is on Lincoln. One of the eldest men there started chuckling. Young buck, he said, the day Abraham Lincoln is president, I’ll eat my hat.

Fineas said, Stranger things. But he was gracious, and they all loved him anyhow. I ain’t met a person yet that didn’t love Fin. Save Aubrey, and I expect he got some cause. Who’s this? they asked, nodding to me, and Fin said, This is my business partner and dear friend, Miss Sophie Wilde.

What business? one man said. Baked goods?

I run a dock, I answered. They all bust out laughing. Oh, dear, one replied, all tickled pink. You say it so convincingly. Tell us true, are you a theatre hand?

No, I said. I was getting agitated. I run a dock. You seen it, I expect. It’s got my name on the gate.

She manages alongside me, Fineas said. She’s excellent. James Hannigan will use no one else for his whiskey shipments.

James Hannigan? one wondered. My, my, the first man said. He looked at me. How did you come to contact with Mister Hannigan, young lady?

Social gathering like this one, I answered. And it’s Miss Wilde, not young lady. I ain’t addressing you as old man.

There was a sudden silence, like no one knew what to say, and I could tell even Fin froze up. Then the man started laughing, which caused the rest of the group to ease up and laugh. You’ve a mouth on you! the man clucked. My stars. My stars. Keep an eye on this one, Moriarty.

I do, Fin said. But he smiled.

As we was leaving the group, one of the fellows tapped me on my shoulder and handed me a business card. Might I solicit one of yours? he asked. Yes, I said slow. You might. And I took one out of my wallet, and I passed it over how Fineas had showed me. The man read it. Impressive, he commented. I’ll be in touch.

Fin had been watching the whole thing, and I looked over at him after, beaming. I done it! I whispered when I got close. I hadn’t any doubt, Fin answered. How’s it feel?

Like being on a cloud, I said.

It was only better from there. We got to eat, and it went on for two hours. I never been so full. I sat with Fin and Ronan and Kitty and Donovan and Margaux. I had filet mignon and Fineas had roast duck, and everyone else had oysters and caviar, which is supposed to be real high-faluting but smelt and looked awful. Then we all had truffles and wine. And then there was mutton and rabbit and pheasant, and then dessert, plum pudding and apple tarts and pies of sugar powder and chocolate. Our whole table was buzzing. There was voices and food, and laughing. I held Fin’s hand under the table.

I got up twice to visit Rose and Michael at the bride and groom table. We didn’t jaw so much as just say how nice everything was and smile at each other. I’m so happy for you, I said the second time I went up. I just got so much happiness in my heart. Michael smiled warmly. He asked, You ever think of coming home?

Sometimes, I said. Often.

I could find you a spot in government, Michael said. It wouldn’t be the same pay, but it would be comfortable enough, and you’d have position.

Rose said, Oh, think about it. It would please me so much to have you near.

I said I would mull it. I suppose I will. New York is treating me fine, though I still am heartsore for the wide plains of Oregon. But then I went back to my table, and saw Fin there, laughing at some joke Donovan had made. He had one hand folded over his mouth, but I could see a flash of his white teeth beneath. When his eyes met mine, I got that swoon of girlish affection all over again. Ain’t a man lived that wore a dress suit better.

After supper, it was getting dark. They lit string lanterns and candles, and made a announcement it was time for cake-cutting. Rose and Michael went to the cake table, and we all cheered and clapped. Michael’s eyes were more watered up than Rose’s. He cut a slice, and she cut one, and then they fed it to each other, and we cheered and clapped more. Rose had frosting on her nose. She was giggling so hard her whole body shook. Michael wiped it off with a thumb, and then he bent down and kissed her on the lips. It was a chaste kiss but the crowd gasped and cooed. Mister Moriarty came to the table with another glass of champagne. A toast, he said. To the happy couple. Waiters was coming through the crowd with more trays of drinks.

We all raised our glasses and toasted, and someone set fireworks off. We cheered that, too. A band had set up on the veranda, and they begun to play a soft tune. Rose and Michael took the first dance. Fineas stood beside me as we watched. He slipped a arm around my waist. I saw some other girls cutting me jealous eyes, but I didn’t care any. I tucked into his side.

After that it was time for everyone to dance. Now? I asked, smiling, and right then Daisy came over and put her arms up and made noises to be held. Up up up! she cried. Up up up Fin!

You have competition, Fineas teased. He picked up Daisy and put her on the toes of his dark shoes. She was looking up at him like he was the sky and he gazed down at her, grinning. They walked together out on the floor, moving slow and careful. I was still standing on the sideline when Pop came over. I didn’t see him at the ceremony though I suppose he must of been.

We didn’t say anything a spell. Then Pop cleared his throat. I used to dance with you like that, he said.

You used to dance with Margaux.

I used to dance with you both.

His voice was firm but there was something I never heard in it before. I watched Fin more, the way he murmured to Daisy, letting her step off his toes so he could twirl her. Do me the honor? Pop finally asked.

I shook my head. I’m waiting.

You can wait with your old man.

You ain’t got any real children to ask? I returned. I felt bad soon as it was out. His cheeks tightened, like he was stung. I’m asking my child, he answered. I’m standing here, asking my daughter.

I relented. I nodded to the floor. He went out onto it, and he put one hand up. I took it, stepping closer. He moved closer too. He set one hand on my back. Pop stepped back, and I followed. We moved between the couples. Pop didn’t speak any, and I didn’t have nothing to say. Then he leaned in and sung, Oh, me rosy coal black rose, the yard is now a-movin’, hauley-hauley ho. I started laughing. I haven’t heard that in a time, I marveled. I would sing it as we danced, Pop said. You don’t remember?

It was coming back to me. I do, I said.

It made you laugh. Pop smiled. Still does.

It’s a foolish song, I said, but I was fighting a smile. Pop sang the another part, bout being strung up like a banjo, and I started laughing more. I tried not to. How long you in town? I asked.

A week.

Might be I’ll see you again, I said.

I hear you’re busy, Pop said. I nodded. Carve out a hour, Pop said. We’ll go to the water and fish some.

Fish ain’t as good here.

Fishing ain’t bout the meat. I ain’t learned you anything.

I shrugged, but I was warming up. I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Fin. My date abandoned me for a bird, he said. May I cut in?

I nodded, and Pop let me go. I began, This is my– but I didn’t know how to rightly end it. So I said, He raised me up. Pop put out his hand, and he and Fin shook. You must be very proud of her, Fin told him.

I got moments, Pop said. He looked at me. Then he went off, and I saw the crowd swallow him up.

Fineas took me in his arms, and fanned a hand across my shoulders. His blue eyes were deep as the evening sky. I could tell how straight his back was that he was practiced at this. What do I do? I whispered. Just follow me, he whispered. I’ll lead.

He guided me under the lanterns, and through the bodies, pivoting lightly. It was like moving on air. I am not a bad dancer but I was surprised how good I felt when I got a graceful partner. You had lessons, I teased. Fineas grinned. Of course, he said. How else could I impress you?

When you was younger?

No. He eased me into a corner and spun me under an arm, then drew me back to his chest. A few months ago. When I laughed, he said, Hadn’t you wondered why we stopped fencing?

I thought you got too busy for me.

Fineas smiled. Never, he answered. He steered us a few moments more, and I melted a bit, being so close to him, the smell of his cologne. That’s real sweet, I said finally. That you learnt to dance for me.

Everything I do is for you, Sophie. He was still smiling. He bent down next to my ear. I stole us a bit of strawberries, he whispered. And chocolate, and wine. I thought we might take it to your house after, like we talked about. Have a picnic.

He pulled back to look at me. I gazed up at him. The lanterns shook above us in the breeze, and his bow was coming undone at the throat because I expect he knotted it hisself for once, and the world was music and starlight and us among all the couples. And I said, Let’s don’t wait.

Don’t wait?

Let’s go now, I whispered. I tried to keep my voice low. I can’t hold out no more. We been waiting too long, and I got to be with you tonight. I expect I will die otherwise.

Fineas stopped in the middle of the dance floor, still holding me. His lips parted. Then he whispered, fast, I’ll get your coat. Say goodbye to everyone.

I rushed off to where Rose and Michael was, and I told them congratulations, and again how lovely the wedding was, and Rose asked, You’re leaving already? I told her some work came up. I was real sorry. Rose looked over and saw Fineas holding my coat. Ah, she said, sly. Her brow raised. Stay out of trouble, she whispered. And be good.

He’s good enough for us both, I said.

Rose smiled. I leant in and kissed her on the cheek, and then on the lips for good measure. Michael was talking to Eoghan, but he came round to give me a hug too. Be safe, I murmured. I squeezed my arms round his neck. I wish you two all the best in the world.

Michael squeezed me back. Come visit at least, sparrow. We miss you in Oregon.

I’ll be by shortly, I answered. I got no doubt.

I let him go, and went to where Fineas was waiting. Michael watched us. I waved goodbye, and he waved too. He looked tall and strong and lasting as a statue there in the garden, in his suit, all gold skin and gold hair.

Fineas murmured, I found us a carriage. I slipped my hand through his, and he and I dashed for it. I told Mister Abbott my address, and climbed in the buggy. Fin wasn’t lying. He got the wine and chocolates and strawberries waiting on the riding bench. There was flowers, too.

I said, Oh, look at that, but Fin was climbing in after me, and he shut the door and I turned toward him, and his mouth was on mine, and his body was too. I rose up into the kiss. It was dizzying. Mister Abbott started the horses, and we began bumping along. Fin and I was trying to get positioned in the small coach. I gripped his shoulders and he laid me back on the bench, hiking up my dress and fitting his waist between my thighs, settling his weight on top of me. Fineas was cupping my face as we kissed, and then he canted my head back and moved his lips and tongue to my throat, and then my bare collarbone. The city went by us outside.

I wrapped my legs around him as best I could, and pulled him closer. I felt him press hisself against me. We weren’t even unshucked, and it made me gasp. He exhaled. Then he grabbed my hips and drove down again, and I began to rock against him. We just kept like that, rubbing against each other, and I felt like every nerve in my body was on fire and he kissed the top of my bosoms and my neck and then my lips again. I ain’t missing that reception one bit.

Mister Abbott finally banged on the glass. We’re here, Fin murmured. His voice was husky. Guard your wallet, I whispered back. There’s pickpockets.

He kissed me again. Hurry, he breathed. He managed to untangle hisself from me, and I climbed out one door. I was trying to get my key and realized it was in my coat, which Fin was pulling out of the carriage. I took it from him. He followed me up the steps, and I turned around and said, Our picnic, and he went back down the steps again for the supplies. I fumbled with the key. My hands was shaking.

I heard Fin say, Don’t wait, Mister Abbott. Mister Abbott said, Very good, Mister Moriarty.

I Dad. That door wouldn’t open fast enough.

Fin came up behind me while I was pushing it open, and we were in the dark of my entry all the sudden. I closed it behind us and locked, and threw my arms around his neck. Our mouths met again. He was still holding the wine and chocolate and flowers and strawberries, but he wrapped his arms around me too. We stumbled backwards into the entry table. He managed to empty his hands onto the table, though the wine fell off and rolled away. It hit the stairs real loud. Fin started laughing while we was kissing, which made me want to kiss him even more. It warmed me right up.

Take me to bed, I whispered against his lips. Fin reached down and scooped me up, like a bride. Where is it? he breathed.

Upstairs.

Fin took us to the stairs and nearly tripped over the wine bottle, which made him laugh again even harder. Shite, he murmured. It’s pitch black. I nuzzled into his throat, wrapping my fingers in his curls. I listened to the steps creak below us as we went higher. He carried me down the hall, kicking each door open and looking in, until he got to the master and saw my big bed and the dresser and vanity. I could feel his heart racing.

Don’t be a gentleman, I whispered. He looked down at me in the dark. He whispered, I hadn’t planned to be.

Then he took me to the bed and dropped me on it, climbing overtop me again like he had in the buggy. Cept this time he went right to unlacing the front of my dress. He kept kissing me, long and deep and intense, and then he peeled the dress off my shoulders. I wriggled it to my waist. Fineas was running his hands over the boning of my corset, and I could feel him primed, which got me extra rowdy. I rose my hips against his again. He grinned. Almost, he promised. He pressed back against me, though, which made me sigh with pleasure.

I undid his tie, and then all the buttons of his dress shirt. He unfastened my corset. I helped him shrug off his suit jacket. I rolled him over and got on top of him, bending down and kissing his bare chest, which was milky in the shadows and unmarred and smooth. Fineas inhaled sharp. I felt him free my corset. He palmed my bosoms, caressing them. I was still brushing my lips over his chest. All of him was well-muscled and firm. I came back up to his mouth after a spell. He kissed me back, fervent. I never been so spoiled by kissing before and it was wonderful.

He only got his trousers on and I only got the bottom half of my dress. Fin left one hand on my bosom and reached under my petticoats with the other, hooking his fingers on the waist of my bloomers. Lift up, he breathed. I did. I had to angle myself to help him pull them off. I went to reach for his trousers next, but he grabbed my hips suddenly and pulled me forward. I lurched, grabbing onto the headboard so I didn’t fall. His head disappeared under my petticoats. His breath warmed my thighs.

When he found his aim, I cried out. I only been attended to that way but few times, and it ain’t ever felt so fine. My heart strained against my ribs. Fin, I gasped. I tried wriggling away, but he held me in place. His fingers dug into my spine. A spark was building in my chest and going all the way to my toes. You’ll wear me out! I warned. But he didn’t stop, and he didn’t quit his fervor, neither. Finally I gave in, throwing my head back and closing my eyes. I held onto the headboard as the first satisfaction rolled over me. It was pure delicious. I expected him to quit then but he didn’t. He kept on and all the sudden I could feel another smaller satisfaction, and I thought I might truly die then, that my heart might bust out of my chest and explode like fireworks. When he finally came out from under my petticoats, I was trembling and wide-eyed. He grinned at my expression. He looked nearly as pleased as I was. You worn out? he teased. Truly?

I was out of breath but I managed to say, Maybe. He laughed. Let’s see, yeah? he said. Fin flipped me onto my back, and begun to undo his trousers. I watched. I never been so rowdy in my life. He was kneeling above my legs, his torso contracting with each exhale. His body looked chiseled in the moonlight. Underneath his trousers was white cotton drawers, and by the time he got those off, I whispered, No, I ain’t worn out.

Fin was watching me. There was no sound in the world but his breathing and my breathing and the creak of the bed as he reached down and pulled the last bit of my dress off. And then I was bare underneath him and he was bare above me. He grazed a hand down my side, and I shivered. We didn’t say nothing. His eyes were a new blue.

Then he lifted one of my legs and kissed the ankle, and the calf, and he set it on his shoulder. He tugged me toward him on the bed, and I slid on the sheets. Fineas lifted my hips so we was aligned. He urged his forward. First we was just rocking against each other, working to get closer, and then there was that fullness of us being fit. I sucked in my breath. Fin’s lips parted. He closed his eyes a moment, like he was praying. Then he opened them again.

I smiled at him. I couldn’t help it. He smiled back. He whispered, Finally.

You been wanting me awhile then? I whispered. Always, he whispered. I’ve always wanted you. I only want you. And then he began to move, and I was lost. He leaned forward, enough so he could kiss me, and I grabbed onto his head and his shoulders, holding fast. He smelled so clean. The bed felt so soft, and the world was all heat and friction. Fineas grasped the headboard, gaining speed, and I let out a happy noise. Yeah? Fineas murmured, and I nodded. I felt greedy. More, I said, and Fineas laughed, but he said, Louder. I started laughing, too. And then that laughing died off as he got a fast rhythm going. I did get loud. I didn’t even care any. I was some bashful when we first started out but it had all gone away then, and when Fineas reached between us to pet me, I put my hand over his. I never done that before. It was bawdy and I am still flustered about it after the fact.

We wasn’t even kissing by then so much as panting while our lips brushed. Fineas, I gasped. Yes, he encouraged. I never heard his voice that deep and it seemed private, like something he saved for us. My heart swelled and hummed. Yes, he repeated, low. I could feel the muscles of his body tightening, and his breath going ragged, and then he gasped, Jesus. My back arched and I was crawling out of my skin, gone and somewhere beautiful, somewhere in the stars, where we was infinite and where babies is made and where heaven is.

Fineas kissed me as I calmed. He stroked my hair and my cheeks, and I smoothed his curls, and he finally rested his head on my chest. It was peaceful for two minutes till a lush went by outdoors and started swearing at God that a damned whore stole his last coin and he would be raining blood on the city come morning. Fin started laughing into my bosom, and I giggled too. You like my house? I asked him. Fin said, Aye. I’m growing fond.

After he fell asleep beside me, I laid there looking at him for a long time. His cheek smashed against the pillow, and he didn’t make a sound while he slept. His face looked almost surprised but happy, like he was hearing a joke in a dream. I watched him and felt something in me open up. It was bittersweet and tender and fresh. I wondered if you could love all sorts of people but it ain’t the same love every time. It makes it hard to recognize, when it changes.

Work has got its share of agitations, too. Four-Finger and his fellows don’t give me any grief, but there is a rabble-rouser called Adam who I can’t tolerate, and he is giving me more lip by the day. First he started spreading a tale that one of our ships that got lost at sea was my doing, as women can’t keep books as well as men. When I confronted him, he said women got hot heads and get their hearts flustered too easy. Calm your bosom, Adam said. He said it in front of everyone, too. Most of the men snickered, even the ones who is nice to me usual. I flared up. I am a hot head, and he don’t even know who he is trifling with. You value your pay, I said, I expect your lip hobbled and your respect in check. Adam gave me a eyebrow raise. He is eighteen years old and the youngest worker we got and he is full of piss and vinegar. If we was anywhere else but a jobsite, I would of uphanded him. Ship was lost, I said. The books was kept fine. Then I said, Some of us can read. I said it to be mean and to shame him. I knew Adam ain’t ever gone to school and I was prideful of how far I’d come in my own reading. It weren’t the right thing to say but I did say it. I hoped that would end his balderdash, but instead he got a grudge against me since, and has shirked and groused and raised bad spirits against me.

I would of fired him but Mister Moriarty said I am not allowed to fire men anymore, because we all got our delegations. That is what he calls them. Delegations. I am allowed to put in orders and give tasks, and I am to oversee all the shipments. But hiring and firing is Fineas, and I am not going to bring Fineas into all this mess, especially since the men has been giving me eyes and whispers since they saw us bussing on the docks. Till then, they expected I got the job because my father must of knowed someone who owed him a kind turn. Now they think I am keeping in Fin’s graces for my position. I can’t go to him with my problems. Else it will seem even more that I ask for special favor.

Besides, it was Fin’s fault we got Adam in the first place. Doc Mathias came and looked at Thomas, and said mostly good things. He does not think Thomas is all the way blind, though he might of lost some sight. But he says even though he can’t cure what is gone, he can heal what is left, and make sure it don’t worsen. As for Thomas’s legs, the brace will help the muscles strengthen and help him get balance. Doc thinks Thomas will be walking in a year. He is still too small and weak, and Doc gave Fin medicines, and exercises to do, and told him to take Thomas out in the sun and give him orange juice and other curious advice. But Fineas took it all in gladly. He was in such fine spirits that whole week after that when a woman at his church said her nephew was wayward and needed guidance, Fin said he would give him a job. Sometimes coin and a good meal is all a man needs for the straight and narrow, Fineas told me. I do not agree. I have seen too many outlaws with full bellies and pockets.

And I was right, since that nephew is Adam. Nothing can fix that fool. What is worse is his attitude is only bad round me, and he is sweet as milled sugar round Fineas and Mister Moriarty. He is Irish Catholic too, which means they cotton to him straight off. They are a real close knit lot. When Fineas comes by, he is always lifting and hauling, and says Sir and Thank You. But when he sees me, his eyes flash, and he says vile words under his breath.

I have three enemies now. I am going to make a list so I can keep track. Adam is my enemy, and Kitty, and Ronan. Kitty and Adam I cannot tolerate, and Ronan cannot tolerate me. Donovan used to be my enemy but I think him too much a fop to be a danger anymore. I still reckon he would be fresh with me if he got a chance, and like even force hisself, but he will not get a chance, and he don’t bother my life ever day like the others.

Luckily I have got many friends, more friends than enemies, and they are more important folks too. Michael and Rose has been spending a awful lot of time with me. They are to be married in one week now, and we spend most time doing wedding planning. Michael and me went hunting last weekend, too. We took one of the old carriages outside the city bout forty miles, and shot six geese. We got them back in time for supper the next night. It was a fine meal, even though the cook didn’t clean them full and I found a bullet in my cut of meat.

I have forgot how much I enjoy shooting a gun. I will do target practice tonight, I think. There has got to be a quiet, dark corner to the city.

The other thing that has been weighing on me is men problems. The first is Fineas. He has not bussed me since that kiss on the docks, and I am feeling heartsore for more. I can’t remember the last time I was so foolish lost to pining. I am waiting, it seems, in all my quiet minutes. Before we bussed, seeing Fin was a bright light to my day, and now it is the focus of them. I sneak peeks in the hall when I hear him come up the stairs. I listen to him laughing with customers in his office. I have learned all his suits and I know which are new, and when he puts on a new suit, I wonder if it is for me. I hope. He has been awful busy but he still comes by my door at least once each day, leaning up in the frame, always in a waistcoat and handsome shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and he asks how am I, and says he is anxious for the wedding. And he tells me how Thomas is doing. He is real proud of his son.

I always say I am fine even when I am balled up, and I listen to stories about Thomas, but inside I am busting from wanting. It is a new wanting. It is laying also, which I have thought about more than is healthy for a woman to think of, but it is also a strange curious new feeling that I would like him to belong to me and I would like to belong to him, as if I understand now what it is Rose feels when she looks at my brother and would like to be his wife and have his children and have him in her doorway always. It scares me. I don’t know that I like it.

Fineas, I am still figuring. But Aubrey I have decided on.

Aubrey has been giving me a different and more sharp heartsickness. I have been lying awake mulling his predicament, stuck there in prison, waiting to be strung up. I started feeling bad for him all over again. It is his fault entire, and he is a mean sumbitch, but I started thinking bout how he ain’t got a pa to lead him and his mother being a slommack, and how she had died when he was young, then he got Harriet took from him in such a rough way and then I ran out on him too. He must of feel gived up on. And then I wrestled with pitying him. He don’t need pity. I tried to conjure all those hurt and furied feelings from after the robbing, and how he had choked me till I blacked out, and how he had laughed when Virgil had the gun to my head, and all the bad things he done. I tried to tell myself if he got hung, that was good riddance. But that is not how I feel. Not truly. Sometimes I think of romantic things when I think of him, all the quiet times between us, and the way his eyes cut across at me when he was rowdy. Sometimes I think how tall and broad his back was in his wedding suit. Sometimes it is his pipe, or his laugh, or how he speaks, which is almost a accent but not like anyone else’s, like words just spill out of him different, and how he always sounds grumbling even when he is pleased. But mostly I do not think of romantic things. Mostly I think when we was good, he was the best friend to me I ever got. I come back to that morning after he committed Dan to the desert for me. It was a favor no one got the right to ask of no one else, and he never held it over me neither. I remember the feeling of his hand on my back as I was shaking, and his voice: Push on, Wilde.

I had planned just to send Clementine in with some tools to break out on his own, but it turns out, Sing Sing don’t allow private visits with prisoners, and Clementine has come down with croup so she is too ill for travel anyhow. If Aubrey is going to be busted out, I will have to do it myself. So I will. All I got to do is hatch a new plan. He will die someday I am sure, but I cannot think of that now. He will not die when I am able to save him. I will love him till my own end.

-

My sister came by the Moriarty house today. Me and Rose was planting some flowers in the garden with the children, and I heard Margaux’s voice across the lawn. I could place it anywhere. She was talking with Ronan, and they were in the kitchen by the back door. Rose was busy helping Michael’s oldest pat some dirt into place, but I pretended to go wash my hands off by the house so I could listen in. There is a sheet door that was open so some breeze could get in but no bugs, and they couldn’t see me but I could hear fine. Ronan said it was all for the best, and Margaux said, she supposed, and then Margaux said, She’ll be very upset. Ronan said, The greater good has great costs. Margaux sighed, but prettily. I could hear their footsteps. Will you tell me when? Margaux asked finally, and Ronan said, Would you like to know? Or would you rather have the bliss of ignorance?

There was a long quiet and I thought they’d left, and then Margaux replied, No. I’ll know after. Ronan agreed, It’s better that way. He said, It will be very clean. I promise you.

I believe you, she said, and the way she said it settled hard in my stomach. It was the way she spoke to Pop when he was doing her a special favor, and she was playing to him. There was another pause. My hands were all cleaned off now. I was waving them in air, pretending to keep on washing. Rose looked up at me from the yard and laughed. She waved me back, and I nodded at her, acting like I was almost finished.

I was about to give up on hearing anything else when Margaux whispered, Don’t. It was low and coy.

Ronan chuckled. This? he said, and she giggled. You’re terrible, she said. Kitty will be here any minute.

Ronan said, We’ll hurry.

I thought my eyes would fall out of my head. There was footsteps, then some creaking. Margaux giggled more. That’s enough, Ro, she said finally. Ronan said, Let me– and she said, No, quit. A door opened inside. You’re flushed, Ronan said to her. Then Kitty said, Well, what have we here?

I scrambled off then, and went back to sitting by Eoghan and digging up the earth. Me and Rose and the children kept on working for a long time before a cook came out to tell us supper was ready. We all washed up again.

Margaux was not at dinner, but Ronan and Kitty were. I watched their faces to see if anything was different. They acted the same, which was bored and annoyed. At one point, Ronan stared back at me with disgust and said, Were you raised in a barn, Miss Wilde? Your gaping is ruining my meal.

I said, I’m only taken with your new haircut.

Ronan didn’t know what to say to that. He touched his hair.

Michael talked a bit about his honeymoon plans with Mister Moriarty, who thought they ought to go to Rome. Rome is good culture, Mister Moriarty says. I don’t even know where Rome is. Fineas agreed, and so did Donovan. Donovan said, You must see the Sistine Chapel.

Cormac said they ought to see bull fights too, and Ronan said that’s Spain, not Italy. So Cormac said go to Spain instead. Michael said they will only be going to the beach for a week before returning to Oregon City. The elections are coming up, Michael said to Mister Moriarty. He said it like an apology, but I have seen enough of men’s talk to know it is a code between them. Mister Moriarty understood the code too. He nodded, once, curt. Yes, he said. Of course. The elections. Then they both went on eating. Rose was having her roast turkey. I asked her later if she minded the fellows deciding everything for her.

It’s the worst thing bout being a woman, I said. They got the say in everything. It’s all their plans. What if you ain’t wanted to go to the beach? Why has Cormac’s thoughts got weight in what you do?

Rose laughed. Oh dear, she said. Do you really think that?

What?

That the men have the final say.

I nodded. I have been in this family a long time, she said, and it is certainly full of loud fellows who will talk and talk until the day is out. But no action is ever taken unless a woman sees to it. If lives were a train, they would certainly be the steam, but we are their engines. When I laughed, she smiled at me. I will buy the tickets, she said, so we’ll go where I would like to go. And I want to go to the beach. I suggested it to Michael.

He thinks it’s his idea.

Of course he does, Rose said, and she said it so clever and warm that I laughed more.

I have thought about that a long time tonight. I wonder if that is why Pop remarried so quick after Mama passed. I have spent so long being angry at him that I never stopped to think how he couldn’t do a thing for hisself when he was alone. Mama cleaned his clothes and fixed his meals and made his plans and kept his money. Maybe he wasn’t lonely or cruel so much as he was lost.

-

Madame Renard’s whole parlor has come down with croup now. I Dad. I am staying in a hotel tonight, and Peter says there is a house auction tomorrow at seven, so we will go to that, and I will likely buy a place to stay because even if it has rats, I can kill them and clean it out. There ain’t much to do with a houseful of sick whores.

-

Four days to the wedding!

Me and Aidan Bourke met up last night to talk drug payments, and I asked bout Sing Sing, and getting a fellow out. Bourke said nobody gets out of Sing Sing ain’t in a casket. Can’t even speak there, he said. Flogged for opening your fecking mouth. Run it like ninth ring of hell.

There a legal way to appeal? I said. Bourke said, Feck would I know bout legals? Then he said where was that lawyer I been promising, and I cut our meet short. I suppose I got to bring Donovan in on this after all. I swow.

The only good news is Fineas brung me lunch today in the office, which was mighty sweet, and kept me company while I ate. He knew I was fond of the corner bakery. They make twist rolls with bacon that you could just bout die over, and he got me two.

After I finished, I told him I bought myself a house at auction. It was quick, and they was just raffling deeds. The home didn’t even cost a full week’s pay. It is on Canal Street, between a ale house and a theater, and it is pretty beneath the dirt. It is two stories tall with a mansard roof. The white brick has turned yellow, and ivy wraps up the side and curls round the front door transom. The bones of it is good, though, and there is very few rats after all, so I think I did fine.

Fineas laughed at the rats, and he said he’s sure it is charming and would like to see it in person soon. When? I asked. I was eager. When am I invited? he said, just as eager. I’ll clear my schedule.

You can stop by after the reception, I said. I’ll get us some furniture readied beforehand.

I don’t need furniture, Fineas said. All I need is you. He got a little flushed after he spoke, but his eyes were frisky. I felt myself going pink with delight. I might keep you, I said, feeling bold. I said, Late.

Aye, he said. I’m hoping. And he drank his orange juice, watching me over the rim.

I was all heart-raced and giddy the rest of the day. All I could think of was Fineas in his suit, and us alone and his curls and mouth and even his arms, which I have not admired much on men before but Fin has fine arms. I know he is chaste and proper, but I will die if that night comes and goes and I am not tended at least some. I am surprised I got any work done at all, how distracted I was with my imaginings. They were vivid.

-

A war is brewing in Utah. It is the beginning of more wars, Greeves says. I think Greeves is a wise fellow, so I take his opinion serious. We was sitting in the office tonight, two days to the wedding, and going over our last shipments, and Greeves was talking to Peter about current topics. They are very well-read. Peter said he has a aunt in Utah, and the Mormons there have been descended on by the United States itself. Why? I asked. She thinks she’s being persecuted, Peter said. Religiously.

Greeves said, President Buchanan heard a rebellion was beginning. He’s only investigating.

Peter clucked his tongue, and said Greeves was naive, and then Greeves looked up with his hunched back and one good eye, and said, Aunt Ethel is touched, love. I never heard him call Peter anything tender before. I never heard Greeves say nothing that wasn’t business or facts of life. Then Peter said, She’s had a difficult life, Ira. And I realized I never knew Greeves got a first name, either. Folks is full of mysteries.

The office door opened. It was Four-Finger John. You’re early, I said to him. I ain’t got you on the clock till nine.

They fished a body out, Four-Finger said.

We all looked at each other. What? I said. Where?

In the river. I was coming to fix me schedule, heard the commotion.

A whole body?

It’s been ate a bit by fish, ma’am. But it’s human, surely.

I got up. We passed Fin’s office, and I knocked on his door. He opened it up. Sophie, he said when he saw me, real warm. Dead body on the docks, I said, and waved him to follow me.

We ran down the stairs. I am not eager to see dead bodies but I am not uncurious, either.

A crowd had gathered and they was standing in a circle, a lump under a blanket in the center, and Adam was there, too, holding a wet box hook. His face was white. He looked all his young age. Was you the one to pull it out? I asked. He nodded. I thought it was mermaid, he said, which sounded foolish but no one laughed. They was always telling stories about mermaids round here. The leg shone, he said. I thought it was scales.

No one made a move to eye it, so I finally did. I crouched down and lifted the blanket up. The smell was blamed awful. I could see what Adam was speaking on now, because the meat of the leg was ate away and bone was peeking out. I expected it would gleam in the sunshine.

It a woman? someone finally asked.

I looked. Yes, I said.

Someone else said, What do we do?

I keep peering. Then I took the blanket off to get a better view, and a few of the fellows stepped back at the view and the stink. One wretched up his lunch on his shoes. Four-Finger averted his eyes. I couldn’t tell the woman’s age, but I could see by her dress she was a night worker. They done her the courtesy of leaving her underthings on, least. I turned the body’s head to the side gentle as I could. The fish had done a number on her and it was hard to tell which wounds was natural and which was foul intent.

Fineas, I said. He took a deep breath. Yes, he managed.

Fetch Donovan, I said.

I waited with the body till Donovan came, and told the men to get to work, and they did, real slow. They looked at me different though. Even Adam did. It weren’t quite respect but it wasn’t hate so much anymore. I didn’t do nothing, he told me before he went back to hauling crates. I know, I said. She’s been under days.

He paused. I never saw a stiff before.

Well. I sighed. Suppose you have now.

You seen many?

More than my share, I answered. Adam stared at me. Then he said, Can I have a new box hook? He never asked me anything before, just told me. So I said yes, go to the warehouse and pick one off the shelves. He handed me the wet one that touched the body. I put it on my belt.

Donovan came in a carriage, all done up in a yellow suit that was worse than his lilac one, and a top hat with a bow tie. I expected he would feel silly but he strolled on the dock like he owned the world. Don’t be worried, darling, he said. I’m here now. I ain’t expected that would make me feel better, but it did, truthfully.

He came up and held my arm, dapper, and I showed him the body. I thought he would upchuck like the other fellow but he stared at the woman. His gold eyes turned like a storm. Well, well, Donovan said slowly. Give my regards to the Madame.

You know her?

She’s my regular at your parlor. We’ve spent many the afternoon and evening together.

I glanced over at him, wondering if he would be feeling tender to the girl. But his gaze was still strange and flat. Was she murdered? he asked.

I don’t know.

This city, he said. Then he looked out at the water line. Ah, well. Morphine addicts. It was a matter of time– a waste of pert bubbies, if you ask me.

Morphine?

Yes, she was a bit of dream-chaser. I’ve indulged myself, of course. The odd occasion calls for it. But Mary had become a slave to the need. Donovan sighed as hollow as his stare. Well, he said. I’ll let the police know. It seems quite an easy case. I doubt she’s even been reported missing.

Donovan.

Yes, my pet?

I looked at him, and he turned to me. I didn’t know what I wanted to ask. I felt spooked. Finally, I said, If someone dumped a dead woman here on purpose?

Why would they do that?

I don’t know, I said. But we got a awful lot of ties for it to be accidental.

Then Donovan did smile. He did it like a well-fed cat, pleased and amused. Oh, little temptation, he said. You’re so full of whimsy. Imagine. He reached around and squeezed my rear, and I gasped, and swatted him hard. I hope you bring your ideas to our bedroom romps, he said. Mary shan’t be as missed with your little fancies.

You are horrible man, I said. She ain’t even two feet away.

Donovan looked down at Mary. He shrugged. I tipped her very generously, he said. She had no cause for complaint.

Fineas came over and said that he was shutting down the docks a hour early, on account of the upset, and I said could I come home with him, because I didn’t want to go back to my empty dark home in the slums all by myself after this, with all the rats and wailing. Fineas said of course. We took a carriage there, not speaking much. He reached across the seat and took my hand. His fingers threaded through mine.

I think he expected I would head to his room with him but I said I would see him at work in the morning. I went to Rose’s room instead. She was asleep already, with Michael’s baby lying on her bosom. The other children was slumbering in cots around the room. The room smelled like powder and fresh milk and all their bare skin was gold in the sunset.

I stripped down to my underthings and crawled in beside her. Rose stirred a little. She yawned. Oh, she whispered. You’re shaking. Come here. She moved the baby some so I could curl up into her, even though she was littler than me and I ought to be able to protect her if it came to it. But I didn’t feel brave at all, and I was trembling bad, so I let her put her small arms around me and hold me and stroke my hair. Shh, she said. I have you, she murmured. It will be fine. Everything will be fine in the morning.

I heard all this second-hand from Aidan Bourke, who said there is a uprising coming. Shitstorm of the first order, he said. We met at a bar of his to have drinks and share business day after I was home from the summer house. He had got his drugs and managed coin for me, which he passed in a envelope. I counted it in front of him. Feck you, ye goddamn slag, Aidan groused. It’s there. I tapped the banknotes on the counter, then pocketed it.

What sort of uprise you expect? I asked.

Municipal ain’t disbanded yet, Aidan said. And meantime, Metropolitan’s returning slight by letting all them criminals go what get arrested by Municipal.

You’re having one over on me, I said, surprised. Aidan shook his head. Municpal’s doing same, he said. Metro arrest comes in, Municipal got a magistrate waiting to let them walk. Long as their territory pissings go on, you’ll get thiefs and rapers and stabbers walking the streets, no jail to hold them.

That’s bout the stupidest thing I ever heard, I said, angered, and Aidan said, You ain’t got to be a fecking genius to be in politics.

I took a drink of my scotch. It was horrible. I’ll talk to my men, I said, who got pull in the situation.

No one got pull anymore, Aidan said. They’ll take down government over this.

Don’t you look pleased for it.

He snickered, raising his glass. Law’s gone, he answered, and gangs own the city. He gulped the rest down. Then he said, Mark my word. Summer comes, we got crime rule.

I sighed, and rubbed my brow. Aw, cunny, Aidan said. Don’t be sore. Ye can claim yourself the savage queen of New York, you play your hand right.

Aidan tapped on the bar for more liquor, and the barkeep came over and filled us up. We drank in silence a spell. You flipping those mauks yet? Bourke finally asked. Or you moved yourself from the whores?

No, same place.

Ye ought to get action where you can.

I get action elsewhere, I lied. Aidan chuffed. I know a dry spell when I seen it, he said. I lived it with my fecking wife. Chain on my balls, she is.

You mean ball and chain, I said, and he said, I know what I said.

I laughed, even though I tried not to. He laughed too. Get a haircut, I said. Take a bath. Clean yourself.

It don’t make no fecking difference.

Women like cleaned up fellows.

I don’t clean well, he answered. Grow some whiskers, then, I said. All the ladies like whiskers, too.

Eh, Aidan said. He gave a long drink at his glass. Then he looked me over, and said, I got no suggests for you. You’re fecking useless in the face. Scraggy body, too. Ye got money, though, and that’s why I was saying them whores is a fine option.

I went back to my drink and ignoring him, thinking. I finally asked, They let you enjoy whores in prison?

Why? You planning on getting hoosegowed?

No, I said. I’m wondering.

Aidan just blew out air between his teeth and ignored me, too, so we finished drinking, and then two of his Black Rabbits came up and said they got something urgent needed discussing, so Aidan just left. He ain’t said goodbye or nothing. I got stuck with the tab.

The wedding is only two weeks away and the Moriarty household is in a uproar over it. I got to see Rose in her bridal gown. We all had to try on our dresses, and it was me and Margaux and Daisy and Kitty. Rose said she had to let Kitty be a part of the bridesmaids because it would mean a awful lot to Ronan. I wanted to complain, but I hobbled my lip, because I didn’t want any more strain on her. I would make her day as easy as I could. There ain’t a woman dearer to me than Rose.

First Rose got on her gown in the upstairs guest room, and all us ladies helped her into it. It has six petticoats under the bottom skirt, and bare shoulders and laced halfsleeves, and it is cream, because she said white is for first weddings and this is her second. The train has a trim of printed roses. I never seen anything so beautiful in my life. When she was done, we all stood back and admired. Even Margaux got tear-eyed. Do you think Michael will like it? Rose asked, nervous, and I said, He ain’t going to believe his luck. I thought I would start crying too.

You make a very comely bride, Kitty said. It was the nicest thing to come out of her mouth.

That was the only good part. The next part was us in our dresses, which we had to do one at a time, and while Rose’s gown fit like a fine glove, none of ours was right. Kitty’s was too long, as she is no bigger than a minute. Margaux’s was too tight at the waist, and mine was too full in the bust. I liked Kitty’s and Margaux’s dresses, and even Daisy’s, which was yellow and had puffed sleeves. But mine looked worse on than in the sketch I had picked. I don’t think the blue I got is good on dark-skinned folks.

Of course right as we was winding up, there was a knock, and I went to answer it, cracking the door only a little. It was Fineas. What do you think? he asked excitedly. He was doing the fittings with the men in another room down the hall, and was wearing his new suit. It was the same blue I got, but it brung out his eyes, and it highlighted his strong shoulders and narrow waist. I felt real sour looking at what a belvidere he was in it. It’s nice, I admitted.

Do you think the waistcoat ought to be a different pattern? he wondered. They want to do silk on silk.

I couldn’t say.

Donovan said all the blue is too much, Fin answered.

Do a print then, I said. That might be fine, too.

A damask print?

Fineas, I said, agitated, you are the best looking fellow in all of New York and I expect you could wear a sack and make it look strapping. Anything you pick is fine.

Fin was startled. Why are you so upset? he wondered, and I said, Take off your jacket and waistcoat. I want to see something.

He frowned, but he shook off his topcoat, and then undid his vest, and held them in a hand. Smooth your shirt, I said. Fin did. Is it tailored poorly? he wondered. No, I grumbled. Then I shut the door and went back to the tailor. Even Fin got a bigger chest than me. I am dispirited.

When I came back to the whorehouse tonight after work, I took dinner in the parlor with Madame Renard. We were talking a little, business and pleasure, and then I saw Clementine out of the corner of my eye. She was wearing her same gold dress, and talking with a customer. I could hear her voice first time. It was high and sweet as a child’s. Madame noticed me noticing her. Are you interested? Madame asked calmly. She’s not busy at the moment.

She looks real innocent, I said.

Yes, Madame agreed. Part of her appeal.

I kept watching Clementine. She was like a doll, how she moved and giggled, putting her hands to her mouth. Her eyes were big happy circles. She do other jobs? I asked. Madame said, I’m not quite sure what you mean, my dear.

I paused, trying to decide if I was going to be honest with Madame, but then I figured she been my most trustworthy allegiance so far and gave me no reason to doubt her. Besides, I seen a awful lot of things go down here I could attest to in court. We was in dirt together.

I need to get something to a fellow in prison, I said.

Madame hardly reacted. She took a little sip of her tea, then asked, The Tombs?

No, I said. Sing Sing.

I’ve never sent a girl there before. It might be twistical. She considered it. What is your man in for?

Why?

I don’t let them visit murderers, she replied, nor wife beaters. I have scruples.

He’s a bank robber, I said. We got history together, so I don’t want to go in myself.

And it’s your word as a woman he won’t attack her? the Madame asked, seriously, and I said, He ain’t that sort of wicked.

Madame set her eyes back to Clementine. You want her?

I think she ain’t going to attract suspicion.

You have a lawyer? Madame asked, and I said, Maybe. I know one, at least. She said, Get him prepped. Wardens can cause grief over these visits.

I don’t want my lawyer knowing what I’m up to. He’s a talker in our social groups.

Oh, he won’t speak, Madame assured me. Once he’s on your pay, he can’t breathe a word of your conversations, nor be accountable for them. It’s a client’s privilege.

That right? I marveled. Then I said, Costs are adding up on this. Got to pay him, got to pay her.

Madame chuckled. Is your prisoner worth the effort? I sighed, but nodded. She said, Well, it’s nine hundred for Clemmie. That’s two days work for her.

Nine hundred? I gasped. In two days? I been making two thousand a week and that was the height of employ in the city. I’m in the wrong business, I told Madame, and she said, There will never be a commodity men will pay more dearly for. She tapped her glass against mine. It chimed prettily.

She asked if I wanted to sample the merchandise before it went out, and I said it was fine, it ain’t going to get to that stage anyhow. I needed her to bring in things, not please the prisoner. Aubrey probably done his fair share of whoring since he left me, anyhow, so I don’t feel bad on him. When? Madame asked. Soon, I said. I’ll send you word.

Truthfully, I got to wait to get my next paycheck. Even work is bleeding my pockets these days. I gave Four-Finger John a raise yesterday. It is thirty dollars more a week, which is a good increase as he made forty-two before. I pulled him aside after he and his men got the delivery loaded, and said I got my hands full with the other shipments so all medicines is under his supply and on his head now. He was overcome. Thank you, ma’am, he said. I won’t disappoint.

I know, I said. Then I added, My door’s open if you got concerns or questions. Daily things I’ll leave to you.

Four-Finger John nodded. My men? he asked. What bout them? I asked. They work awful hard, too, he said. It’s the three of us doing ten fellow’s work. He looked almost bashed after he said it, like he oughtn’t to of spoke up, and I considered. You got a hundred extra dollars a week to divvy, then, I said. Hire more fellows or give your men a increase, or both. Do as you see fit.

Thank you, Miss Wilde, he said. Then he smiled, shy but reliefed.

I went back to my office and didn’t think much of it, though two days later there was a basket on my desk with a note that read: THANK YOU SINCERELY. I AM SORRY THIS ISN’T MORE. MRS. BERGMAN.

The basket was filt with home made cookies. It warmed my heart, since I don’t think I been given anything home made in years. The cookies was delicious, too.

My dress is retailored! They brung it into the office today, and I tried it on during lunch. I do not have a mirror in here but just looking down at it, it seemed to fit better. That perked my mood mightily. My bosoms ain’t too small. Gowns is just too large.

Doc Mathias came into town yesterday too, which is also good news. I am putting him up in the Metropole. It is a different suite but same floor. I plan to talk to him later, after work hours, but I stopped by Fin’s office first and asked was he busy this weekend, because I wanted audience in his room. He was signing a letter and his hand slipped into the ink pot. Fin cleared his throat, trying to dab up the spill. My bedroom? he asked. Yes, I said. We ought be alone, since we got intimate affairs to tend to. The thing we been bandying about, in particular.

When?

Tomorrow good for you? Nightfall?

Fineas had a curious expression on his face. He wet his lips slightly, then looked back at the spill on the desk. Yes, he said after a moment. Aye, I’d– be up for that.

I smiled. Good, I said. And I’m bringing a friend, too.

A friend?

He’s for you, truthfully, I said. I think you’ll enjoy his offerings. It’s mostly ideas and such, but we could put them to action quickly.

Fin was still overcome and staring at me. I think you’re getting ahead of yourself, he managed.

I shrugged. It don’t seem like we can do it ourselves.

I’m quite sure we can.

We ain’t had any luck so far.

His jaw tightened. I was being patient, he said. But I’m fairly adept, Sophie.

Well, the fellow gave me some pictures, I said. He sent them through the post. I was going to wait to show you till we was a bit more private, given the nature. But if you want to see them now, I think you’ll know we could use his hand in it.

Sophie, Fineas said. Jesus Christ. He was flushed. No, he said. Don’t push the issue.

Just look at the drawings, I said. I got diagrams.

Fin said, No, and I took out the sketches from Doc Mathias, and Fineas was real worked up, saying, I don’t need to see them, Sophie. Donovan has made me look at enough of these before. I returned, Well, Donovan ain’t found anything that worked for you before, has he? And I think these will. I believe that.

I unrolled the diagrams on his desk, and Fin pushed his chair back, flustered, and I said, Look. Fineas was glancing at the wall and the bookcase, and I got behind him and held his head and turned it back to the desk. Look, I ordered. I Dad. Stop being a nipper. Fin finally exhaled and stared at the paper.

There was a long silence. Fin said, It’s a device.

Yes, I said.

I’m afraid to ask the nature, he replied slowly.

I let go of his head and walked back to the drawings. I pointed to the parts. This, I said, right here supports the weight of the body, and this straightens the bone of the legs. I think this part gives balance when he moves. It’s not real pretty, of course, but he don’t have to wear it out ever, just round the house.

He? Fineas asked, and I said, Thomas.

Fin glanced at me, then leaned over the papers, more intent. I watched him read the notes. I said, My friend is a doctor. He treated soldiers, so I figured he’d seen some manglings before. Men that need to get back on their feet. I paused, watching Fin’s expression. We’d have to build it awfully small, I added, and Doc Mathias would need to get Thomas’s measurements. But no other soul is making these things. It’s Doc’s own design.

Fineas was still, touching the paper with his fingertips. A walking mechanism, he whispered finally.

Sure is.

Will it work? Fin murmured. Yes, I said. I expect it will. It’s worked on men with no legs so a boy with two twisted ones ought to be fine.

Fineas said, What about his sight?

Doc’s got some mixtures he wants to try, I said. Some sort of algae. Said it cured blindness in other folks.

He might be cured? Fully?

Doc’s got high hopes.

We waited in more quiet while Fin gathered hisself together. He kept opening his mouth like he was going to speak, then closing it again and breathing out. All his exhales was shaky. After a long time, he said, No one has ever done something like this for me before. For– Thomas.

Well, I said, I only hope I got you a fix. I’m still footing you with the bill.

I smiled, and Fin smiled, and then that smile grew into the biggest grin I ever seen. It filt up his face, his lips and his cheeks and eyes. He was still staring at the diagrams and sketches. Then he put his hand over his mouth like he was trying to control his giddiness. Thank you, he whispered through his fingers. Truly. Thank you. I can’t– I couldn’t ever say it enough. You’re wonderful.

I really ain’t.

You are, he said. God, I couldn’t even– I never imagined.

Pick a place to take Thomas this summer, I said, and we’ll get him there. Running round and all.

Fin nodded, wrapped up in the drawings, and I left him alone and went back to my office to sign paperwork. I locked my desk, blew out my lamp, and had made it downstairs and almost to the shipyard gates when footsteps came running up behind me. I turned, touching the grip of my revolver, and that was all I managed before Fin’s hands were cupping my face. He tilted it upwards and dipped his head, and our lips met.

I made a little surprised noise into his mouth. The workers finishing up the last cargo load started whistling and clapping. My eyes closed anyhow, and I rose up into the kiss, propping on my toes. My arms went around his neck, and his thumb brushed my cheek, his fingers grazing my throat. The kiss deepened and strengthened, and the workers kept howling, and finally Fin broke apart, grinning, and shouting to them, Back to work! We don’t pay you to gawk. I swallowed, wonderful dizzy. I could smell his soap and the sea, and my heart was in my ears. Fin was laughing at the men, waving them off, and then he looked back to me, his eyes handsome blue. Tomorrow, aye? he whispered. Tomorrow, I agreed soft. He ran his thumb over my lips, then ducked and kissed me a last time for good measure. I watched him jog back to the office, and I floated all the way home.

I called him to my office today and had him shut the door. He did. He was wearing a cap and held it in front of him in his hands, nervous. You know me? I asked.

You’re Miss Wilde, ma’am, he said. He almost reached the ceiling.

I am, I said. And you go by Four-Finger John or Mister Bergman?

Either is fine, ma’am.

I think Four-Finger got a good ring to it, I said. It sounds like a story hero. When John smiled, I smiled too. Have a seat, I said. You ain’t in a lick of trouble.

John took the chair across from me. I had brung it in from Fin’s office just for this meeting. Tell me bout you, John, I said. You got a family? John nodded. Three kids, ma’am, he said. And a wife. It’s me second one. First died of cholera.

My apologies, I said sincerely. That’s a awful way to go.

It was quick, thanks to God, John said. I seen bouts longer. He paused. There more you want to know?

I don’t know, I said. Can you read?

Yes, he said. Write too.

But you took a laboring job.

Pays better than a clerk, he answered. Well, did. He gave me a rueful smile, lifting his injured hand. You gamble? I asked. John said, No, ma’am.

You drink? I asked, and John said, Time and again. I don’t make habit.

I nodded. I moved some papers on my desk like Mister Moriarty and Donovan do when they’re acting important, and then I looked back at him. I got a job for you, I said.

John said, Beg pardon, but you already employ me.

A different job, I said. Same tasks, different ships. I only need you here three days a week. John hesitated, and then he answered, I need the money, ma’am. I can’t take a cut in time.

It ain’t hurting your pockets, I said. You’ll make same pay you did before.

For less hours?

I’m keeping your salary now. It’s off company books.

He looked even more ill at ease. I don’t know I’m the right man, he said. I never been off company books.

It’s only medicines, I said. But they need particular attention, and I got warehouses I need you to take them. I’ll pay the difference to see them handled proper.

Mister Fineas knows about it? he said. No, I said. I been entrusted by someone higher up than Mister Fineas. We ain’t mentioning it to him, I said. Ever.

John said, I understand. He had dark green eyes up close. They were deep.

Pick two men, I added, that you trust. They’ll work under you on the jobs. It will be only the four of us, here on out.

I’m managing? he said, pleased, and I said, You feel at peace with it?

Aye, John said. I do.

Good, I said. I put my hand out, and he reached over the desk with his ruint hand and shook. Then I reached in my pocket and took out twenty dollars, passing it over. John was stunned. I couldn’t, he said. Go on, I told him. Take the rest of the day. Buy a dress for your wife, toys for your kidlets. Have a fine meal. I’ll see you Wednesday evening at seven.

Seven? he asked. We got late hours ahead, I told him.

John nodded, and he picked up the bank note careful. Then he said, Thank you, ma’am.

Sophie, I said.

Thank you, Sophie, John repeated. I watched him leave, and went back to my desk papers. They wasn’t real business. Rose said I get to be her maid of honor, and Margaux had sent Fineas some pictures of dresses to give to me. I am supposed to pick one, but they all are the same cept a bow here or lace there, so I have no real opinion. All Fineas says is that it ought be blue, as he is having a matching suit made up this week.

I am in such a fine mood. Business is going well. I had worried who I would sell my medicines to so I wasn’t putting more drugs back in the slums, but Doc Mathias says he will be up in three weeks for a visit and to keep stock for him, as he knows other sawbones that would make good use of the medicine. That still leaves me some left over, but I will sell that to Aidan Bourke, and it will be on his head stead of mine.

Michael is coming soon too, in another week, and Rose had a idea to meet him at their summer house instead of in the city. I guess Michael is coming by private carriage, and the house is on the path. She said it is only a four hour ride to the home, and it is on a lake with a beautiful meadow and nine bedrooms. She also said there was a stable, so I reckon that’s where Hemene is. I cannot wait. I love Rose something fierce, so when I see her my heart just flies up in my chest and beats wild, and I have only got lunches and dinners with her while she is in town. But we will be at the summer house for six whole days. Six days of doing nothing but eating and swimming and riding and playing games. It is the longest vacation I ever had since I begun working. And I will see my brother! I Dad, I can’t contain myself. I made sure to ask if Fineas was coming and she said of course he was invited.

I have heard Donovan and Margaux will come along, too. Long as Ronan ain’t there, I will be happy.

I picked out a dress. Peter said he would take the sketch to Margaux for me, because I was so busy, even though it was more because I don’t want to see my sister till I got to. I told Peter that he and Greeves is in charge while I am away. They will take good care of the office. I know it. I said Four-Finger John will be keeping late hours, too, and I will leave a key for him.

Also, Aidan has sent me a letter, saying he will take the morphine, all I want to sell, and will call it square, as he got no news of Aubrey anymore to barter and I am too much a slag to do him a kindness without it. He can call me what he likes. Long as he keeps me in canards and banknotes, he can run his mouth till it falls off.

Well we are at the summer house now and it is finer than I ever could of imagined, except for two things which are awful: Ronan is here and so is Kitty.

The house itself is nearly as big as the one in the city, and it is painted pale yellow with a big white porch that goes all the way around. There are roses and vines crawling up everywhere, and there is sweet grass in the meadow. I came up with Fineas, Rose, and the children in one carriage. Eoghan and Fineas played red hands while me and Rose braided the girls’s hair and told riddles. Rose knows one about trees, which talks about being dressed comely in the spring but naked in winter, and Michael’s oldest got so flustered by it we couldn’t stop laughing. Fineas knows some riddles too, but he is not good at telling or guessing them. It endeared me to him more to find something he ain’t excelled at.

All the ride there was good and seeing the house made me dizzy with joy, but then as soon as we got out, I saw Ronan and Donovan and Kitty and Margaux on the porch, and agitation boiled up instead. They had even gone on and picked rooms without us. Donovan has the best room of all, which looks over the lake, and Margaux got the second nicest, which is next to a willow tree. Ronan and Kitty ain’t even staying in the same room, so they took up two, and Michael will need his own and so will Rose, and she will take the baby but the three oldest can sleep on their lonesome. There are only two rooms left for me and Fin, and one is the size of a bread closet and it don’t even have a window. Fin said he would take the tiny room but the cot there is thin, too thin for as strapping a fellow as Fin, and I am lank and lean and will have to make do.

But I could only be fussed so long before how fine life is won me over. Michael showed up by dinner, and we all ran outside to charge him as he got out of the carriage and cover him in kisses. Even Margaux pecked him on the cheek, and Rose too. The children climbed up his legs, crying out to be held. He was paler than I expected. His days of being outdoors was over, I reckon. He was clean shaved and his hair was neat trimmed and combed over, so you could hardly tell the curls, and he looked every bit a politician. His eyes was still sharp and kind, though, and his smile was so big it filt up his face, and I was proud he was my brother.

We ate a big dinner of roast quail and hot rolls and candied apples and sweet tea, and the children caught fireflies in their hands and kept them in jars. Fin caught one for me, too. I put it in my tiny dark room and watched it flutter inside, trapped and angry.

Today was swimming! I have not truly swum since we were on the trail and I forgot how much I loved doing it. We were out there from sun up till sun down and I am dark as the trees. Michael swam in his cotton drawers, but all the ladies and all the Moriarty men put on full swim suits. Ronan’s was striped blue and white, and covered all the way from his ankles to his wrists. Fin’s and Donovan’s was a little better but not much. I do not see the point in swimming if you are bogged down by so much fabric.

As for me, I swum in one of my slips, which Kitty said is pure shameless but I think she is only upset she is not allowed to as her husband is watching. She and Margaux hardly went in the water at all, anyhow. They sat mostly on the shore reading women’s news to each other and fanning themselves.

Rose and Michael got to take care of the children so that just left me and the other men to play, and Ronan wouldn’t do a thing but laps. Me and Donovan and Fin played blind tag, and then dove for pennies.

Fin can hold his breath for four whole minutes. He is the scariest one to play shark with because he disappears for so long that you don’t know where he is till he grabs your ankles and tugs. I never had a man make me scream like that, but we couldn’t quit laughing afterward either.

We have been here four days now. Me and Hemene is reunited, and she remembers me, I swear she does. We spent a whole hour just cozied up to each other and then the next two days riding all around the land, wind in our hair. I brushed her and fed her carrots and sugar, and tucked her warm in her stall at twilight. It makes me heartsick to think of leaving this place. I don’t never want to. I wish I could die right under the willow tree where the sun hits in the afternoon.

Michael said we have not done enough exploring so far, so he made sandwiches for a picnic, and me and the kids went out to take a walk. He left the baby at home with Rose, who is cross-stitching with Margaux, and we got the three oldest children with us. We walked for miles till we came to a meadow of orange milkweed, and we laid a blanket out and counted the clouds and ate.

How is Joseph? I thought to ask. Michael shrugged. He’s quiet, he answered slowly. I don’t see him much, truthfully. He keeps to himself.

He’s probably lonesome. You should visit.

We have a bit of a quarrel, truthfully.

Over what? I asked.

The growth of slavery, Michael said. I said, You don’t abide it? and Michael said, No. We don’t argue opposite positions, but– Michael sighed. Daisy wandered over, and stumbled. He helped her to her feet. Joseph is a vigilante, Michael said finally. He believes in ending slavery through any means possible. And I don’t agree. He shook his head, rubbing his short-cropped hair. I can’t afford to keep him in my company, Michael admitted, with how he airs his opinions. I’m up for Mayor next election.

Michael, I gasped. I’m dreadful proud.

It’s only an election.

Everyone will vote you.

Joseph won’t, Michael said, and I let a small chuckle go. No, I said. Joe is a strange one. He means well.

Michael was quiet a spell, watching the children. Well done on your dock, he said.

Thank you, I replied. I do fine by it but the opportunity fell straight in my lap.

I hardly recognized you in your fine clothes.

Go on, I laughed, and Micheal joshed, Your husband lets you buy as you please, then?

I answer to myself now, I answered. So, yes, I buy as I please.

You’re not married anymore?

Reckon not.

Are you courting?

I’m busy as you, I said. I got no time.

Rose says you’re taking her brother to the wedding, he pressed. You gossip, I said, and he laughed. Which brother? Michael asked.

The youngest here, I said. Fineas.

I like him the best.

Me too, I answered earnestly. I said, Callum is nice, too. He’s back home. We ain’t sweet on each other or nothing, but I think he’s real gentle. And then there’s Cormac, who is awful and my least favorite after Ronan.

Five boys, Michael marveled.

I know, I said. I got off easy with you two.

He grinned, looking like my old brother again. We pulled milkweeds and held them to each other’s throats, pretending all the orange foods we might be eating, and Eoghan came over and wanted to play too. Daisy tried to eat a milkweed but Michael stopped her in time.

We trekked back and to the house, and I napped for about three hours, sun-sick. I woke up in time for supper, and ate the baked potatoes and jellies, and Donovan read me and Eoghan a story on the back porch about pirates. Then I was tired again.

I went to my tiny bedroom but my fireflies have died so it is dark and lonesome. I waited there a long time, on that thin cot, and waited for everyone else to go to sleep.

When all the footsteps ended, I creaked my door and peeked out. The hall was empty. I tiptoed to Fin’s door and knocked, but he didn’t answer. I tested the knob and it gave way.

He was asleep on the bed already, lying in his linen trousers and blue buttoned shirt like he had only expected to rest but passed straight out instead. I locked the door behind me and climbed up beside him. Fin stirred, opening one eye a crack, and he tugged me down into his side. He did it natural, like we went to bed together every night. I curled up into his chest. Fin yawned. He pressed his lips to my forehead. Shh, he said, even though I ain’t made a peep, and then he drifted off again.

I must of tuckered out right after and slept sound until the early morning before dawn because I woke up and it was blue-lit in the room, and Fin was off the bed, in the corner, taking his dress shirt off. I didn’t do a thing. I pretended to be asleep still. He was moving real tired and slow. He unbuttoned the shirt and threw it on the ground, stretching and running a hand over his belly. I could make out all the muscles of his torso. A spark started low in my own belly. Then Fin reached down and undid his trousers, pulling them off so he was in his drawers, and I went still. I never seen him that close to unshucked before. The more an eyeful I got of him, the more impressed I was.

Fin just stood there a moment, pausing, and then he went and poured a glass of water from the pitcher on the dresser, and drank it. I waited as silent and unmoved as a statue till he came back to bed. He climbed in beside me again, pulling the coverlet over us both. Then, just as drowsy-seeming, he moved his hand beneath the covers, slipping it under my camisole.

I didn’t know what to do so I still didn’t do nothing. Fin was breathing deep and regular, and his cheekbones made handsome shadows in the end of the moonlight. He gave a little sigh, and pressed his nose into my throat. His palm moved up to cover my bosom. He settled it there. Fin? I whispered finally. It came out all choked. Hmm? he murmured.

You’re pawing me, I whispered.

Oh, Fin said. He yawned again against my neck. I’m sorry, he said but he didn’t sound awake enough to be sorry. He lifted his face and found my mouth, sweet and warm, and I don’t think I ever been kissed so well before. It felt like I was sinking. My eyes closed, and his breath was on my cheek and his nose brushed against mine. He drew away after a moment, our lips just grazing but not pressed together anymore. His hand was still on my bosom. Then he was back asleep.

I waited, all worked up, while he went on dreaming. I finally moved his hand out from under my camisole, as I expected he wouldn’t remember any of it come morning and didn’t want to embarrass him when he came to fully. It didn’t matter. The feel of where he touched me was still there like a mark. I put my hand on Fin’s chest, too, to be fair, and then laid my head against it and listened to his heart.

We went strawberry picking today! I got six whole buckets of them myself and Rose is baking us strawberry cupcakes in the kitchen. Michael is hovering around her, worried she will break in her exertions. It is mighty sweet.

Fineas didn’t say a thing about last night so I suspect he was truly asleep and did not remember. When I woke up this morning, he was already out with Eoghan playing hide-and-seek by the willow tree. He came in for breakfast and took a seat by me, and we played two games of porch chess, though he skipped strawberry picking to talk about baseball with Ronan. It must be the only thing they got in common.

I can smell the cupcakes in the oven now and the children are laughing in the sweet grass. Donovan is playing the piano for Kitty and Margaux in the parlor.

I cannot remember the last time I been so happy.

Tonight we put a fire out back and Michael told ghost stories, and his eldest daughter got so scared she hid under my skirt, which was nice because I never been that comforting to anyone. Ronan said ghost stories are foolish. There is nothing after death, only heaven and hell. But Rose said evil and tormented souls can roam the Earth. I don’t know if she is being serious or just likes working the kids up. Margaux looked worried too.

Then Donovan began to tell silly tales, the first I heard from him that wasn’t about laying or being coarse. One was about a goat they had as a child called Mister Barnaby who only ate eggs, and that Cormac had tried to train him to stand on a stool but Mister Barnaby wouldn’t have none of it. Ronan started laughing. I never heard him laugh like that before. He put his hand over his mouth, chuckling, and said, I’d forgotten. Then he said to Donovan, Remember how you tried to ride him? and Donovan said, It was only once, and Fineas said, You were fifteen. You ought to have known better.

Rose said, He was soused, that’s why.

Donovan said, Drink was too readily available to me at a tender age. I blame Da.

You stole the key to his liquor cabinet, Fin argued.

How blue were you? I asked, amused, and Ronan said, Terribly so. He was sick the next morning all over the stable.

Margaux’s eyes opened wide. Whatever was he doing in a stable?

Fineas chuckled, and Donovan sighed. I got lost on the way back to the house.

Ronan added, He bunked with Mister Barnaby.

We all laughed, but Donovan said, Mister Barnaby was a fine bedmate, and you’re one to tease, Sophie.

What does that mean? I asked, and Kitty said, You’ve likely seen the inside of plenty stables yourself.

Michael replied, She owned a farm, yes. I saw him bristle. We all worked hard, he added.

Kitty said, The smell of it. Then she laughed, waving her hand away like she was brushing off the thought. What does your pa do? Rose asked, real sweet. I forget.

Kitty’s laughter died. He’s the principle chairman of the city drainage system, she answered sharply. You know that.

Sewers, Fineas said to me.

Kitty said, City drainage.

I smiled at Kitty, then at Rose. I Dad, I love that woman.

I felt Fin’s foot brush against mine. He leant over to poke at the fire. Eoghan asked, Can I try? and Fin said, Go on, like this. I watched the boys together, and then Michael came over, bending by Eoghan too and explaining how to make fire with flint, and then Fin started talking bout the properties of fire, and how it wasn’t alive even though it could breathe and grow and die and reproduce, which is make little fires like we make little babies. His foot was still rubbing against mine, and our knees bumped. My heart sped up.

We were all there late into the night, and Margaux said she had to turn in first. Kitty was next. They walked off into the night together, whispering. Ronan followed a bit after, then Michael and Rose and the children, and then Fineas, till it was just me and Donovan. You tired? I asked him over the fire.

Never, he said. I can go all night.

Oh my stars, I groaned. Donovan chuckled. Then I said, I got something to ask.

The answer is yes.

It ain’t even a yes or no question.

The answer is always yes for you, my pet.

I laughed. You know any lawyers?

Donovan replied, Why do you ask?

I got someone might need one.

What did you do, darling? Donovan asked, his eyes twinkling. Nothing, I said. I got a fellow might need lawyering up.

You have my card.

No, I said, I don’t.

Come to my bedroom and get one then, Donovan purred, and I raised my brow, ignoring the comment. Why would I need your card? I asked. I’m the best lawyer in the city, Donovan said. In all of New York, quite possibly.

You’re a lawyer?

Of course, he said. Why else would Da keep me on hand?

I said, Guilt, I reckoned.

I do work, he replied. It isn’t all ravishing women and looking handsome.

That made me laugh more, but I was warming up to him a bit. Donovan came around, sitting beside me. He was two feet away, then one foot. Don’t come nearer, I warned. You’re fine there.

No one will know, Donovan pressed. I would know, I said, and that’s enough.

I am in dire need of female company and my options are quite limited for the time being.

Your options is always limited.

Donovan opened his mouth to say something, and there was a loud crack in the woods. I snapped to attention. It’s a deer, angel, Donovan whispered. He reached a hand for my arm, and I slapped it away, listening. Are you very afraid? Donovan continued. Come closer. I can soothe you.

There was another lighter crack. I reached for my revolver, and came up empty. I left it behind. Goddammit, I hissed.

Donovan sucked his breath in at the language, but reached for me again, in a mood. I shoved him away and stood up, trying to peer into the nearby trees. It was hard to see but there was a thin shadow of a man waiting there. Watching.

Donovan, I whispered.

What? he whispered.

Go to the front hall, I whispered, of the house, and open the top drawer, and bring back my pistol.

Whatever for– he began, and I snapped, Go before you get hurt yourself.

Donovan seemed startled, but he did as I said, lurching to a stand. Go, I whispered, and bring back the men, and Donovan nodded, breaking into a run.

I was alone then, and I would have been more worried but all I could think of was Rose and Michael and the children and Fin and how I would attack a armed man if I got to if it meant keeping them safe. I didn’t want to take my eyes from him, lest he creep back to the home while we was all asleep later.

I picked up a log from our firewood pile and began to walk toward the man. I couldn’t sneak up on him. He already seen me. My best bet was that he was a poor shot if he tried to fire on me first, and in firing would give me a clearer view of his spot for milling. But the man didn’t move. He just stood. I don’t even think he had drawn a firearm.

I didn’t recognize him till I was nearly on top of him and the moon shone off his face. His glasses reflected like two big owl eyes.

Reggie? I called out.

Sophie? he said.

I swallowed, breaking into a trot. When I came near enough, I could see it was him, truly, and he was well and unhurt. I set a hand on his face, real overcome, and he leaned into it, and then threw a arm around me. We hugged. My heart was in my ears. I didn’t know I would be so glad to see him till he was before me. How did you find me? I asked. Who told you I was here?

A man in town, Reggie answered. At the docks.

You went to the docks?

I wanted to get word to you. Reggie pushed the glasses up on his nose, exhaling. I didn’t mean to frighten you.

What’s wrong? What did you need to tell me so bad?

The gang was captured.

When? I asked.

Two days ago. The papers haven’t got word yet.

I didn’t even know how to feel at the news. They hanging him? I wondered, even though I already knew the answer. Reggie nodded.

He’ll break free afore, I said. He in New York still?

Reggie nodded again. He’ll get the Tombs, I answered. Be gruesome but Aubrey hisself told me there’s five men out for every ten in.

Escape records are keeping him out of the Tombs, Reggie answered. They won’t take the chance. He’s headed to Sing Sing.

Where’s that?

Ossining, Reggie said. Thirty miles outside the city.

It a tougher hold?

Reggie answered, The prisoners labor all day and are locked up in solitary at night. They kill more men in those walls in a year than in any Indian wars. Flogging and overwork.

Felix with him? I asked.

Yes, ma’am.

Felix can’t handle that, I said, but most to myself. I was mulling it. He ain’t built for cruelty, I told Reggie. You know that.

Reggie sighed. I sighed, too, rubbing my head. Virgil? I asked finally.

Caught.

How’d you make your lucky?

We were staying at a farmhouse, Reggie said, and the rest of them were drinking in the kitchen. I’d gone to the attic for quiet when the law came.

You just hid?

Reggie said, I gave my wife that promise to keep away from weapons. There wasn’t much to do. He paused. I’m headed to see her and the children next… I wanted to get word to you first.

I said, I don’t owe them no loyalties.

No, Reggie said. You don’t owe us anything. He hesitated. I only thought you should know.

Michael and Fineas were approaching. I could hear their footsteps. Stay here, I told Reggie, and I’ll get you food and coin. You can take a horse if need be.

I’m obliged, Reggie said gently. Truthfully.

When I started heading back to the house, I nearly ran into the men. What is it? Michael demanded. Just a bobcat, I said. I ran it off.

Christ, Sophie, Fineas said. We thought the worst.

I thought so, too, I answered. But turned out it wasn’t nothing I couldn’t handle.

We walked back together, and when they went to other activities, I snuck into the kitchen to pack leftover strawberry cupcakes and a tin of water. I brung it back to Reggie along with a chestnut mare and fifty dollars. I expected all the money he got from the robbing was took by the lawmen, and I ain’t got it in me to be petty.

Reggie took it all without any more words. He nodded, and put his hand out for us to shake. Then he was off, and I watched him ride down the prairie and into the horizon till there wasn’t a stitch of him left.

When I came in the house, there was a pinochle game going in the parlor. I walked to the doorway. They had begun a fire. Rose had the baby tucked against her bosom, fast asleep after her warm milk, and Michael was bouncing his oldest on a knee. Eoghan was playing between them hisself like a grown man. Donovan and Fineas were holding their hands, and Kitty was between them, pouting at her cards. Ronan and Margaux were reading a thick book together in the corner. They all was so clean and safe, all of them well-fed and most of them gentle bred, and the rest raised up in society. They were all seersucker suits and linen sun dresses and small worries.

I stayed in the doorframe, watching, till Fin glanced up and smiled at me. He motioned for me to join, but I shook my head. I went upstairs to my small closet room instead, and laid on the cot in the dark, staring at the ceiling and feeling Aubrey’s ring on my trigger finger. Then I went to the dresser and got my revolver out and primed it. I will sleep next to it tonight. I can’t get too comfortable. I can’t get soft.

I got it, I said. Figure it a present for the couple.

Fin said, No, it’s not the money. It’s the principle. It’s everything. We was eating sandwiches together for dinner. There was too much paperwork to do to even go home. And now I’ll have to find a replacement for Bergman too, he said, because we’ll be hurt ourselves without him.

I’ll pick up slack. I know the docks now.

It’s difficult labor, Fineas said. You’re too small.

I’m tall for a woman, I argued, and Fin said, Your arms are as big as my wrist. I shrugged, and took another bite of my sandwich. He wasn’t even eating. He was just pacing and flustered, stopping to pick up more papers that was left for him and reading them over. Jesus Christ, he snapped. This too.

What? I asked, and he said, My wedding date appeals.

I asked again, What?

Fin brought over a handful of envelopes. They were all stamped with birds and flowers, and had girlish handwriting on the front. I started laughing, but he was glowering. Every event, he said as I flipped through them, a hundred of these come in the mail. Prospective wives.

You complain too much, I said. Having too many women to pick from ain’t a problem most men have.

I rarely complain, Fin replied. I just– I can’t right now.

They all want to marry you?

They’re hopeful.

So they ask you to take them to Rose’s wedding, I asked, and then they think you’ll cotton to them, and court them? Fineas nodded. I opened and read the first one. It’s from Molly Doyle, I said. That sounds Irish. I paused, reading more. She likes to knit. She said she can knit you matching scarves for the ceremony.

Fineas said, Wonderful.

Don’t be sour.

I’m strained, Sophie.

Talk to me, I said. I can’t read your mind. Bergman and the statue ain’t the only things weighing on you, though.

It’s just work, he said, and I said, No, it ain’t. We lost that shipment to Newark and you weren’t so fussed.

Leave it, he said.

I’m your dear friend, I pressed. We never kept secrets before.

Thomas is losing his vision, Fineas snapped. Are you happy? He stopped after he said the words, and stared at me. His eyes were the brightest blue I’ve ever seen. I set my letter down, slow, my lungs squeezing up. Then I walked over to him and put my arms around his neck, and he stood stiff a minute, and finally laid his head on my shoulder and let me hug him. I haven’t been praying enough, he spoke after a long silence. I’ve failed somehow.

No, I said, real gentle.

Fin said, I was too reliant on science. I bought him so many medicines. I was arrogant, and God is punishing him for my independence.

It ain’t that. You know it ain’t.

It’s my fault.

No, I said. It ain’t your fault. Life just ain’t fair.

Fin went quiet. Then he said, I don’t know how to fix this. But I have– I have to fix this.

We will, I said.

I’m at such a loss, Fin said, and I said, We got time. Thomas ain’t blind yet. We’ll turn it round, and get him running in the garden and staring at the blue jays by summer.

He’s never been in the garden, Fineas murmured.

Never?

I was afraid to let him outdoors, he answered. Something might have happened.

I rubbed his shoulders the way Mama used to do when we had night terrors. The muscles of his back were strong. Fineas exhaled, his breath against my neck. Then he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me too. I could feel our hearts thudding against each other.

I kept rubbing and he nuzzled into my throat, and we stayed like that a few moments before there was a knock on the door. We both turned, breaking apart. It was Peter. Greeves and I are leaving, he said. He paused. Are you–?

We’re fine, I said.

Peter nodded. He went to go down the hall, and I got a lightning bolt of an idea. Wait, I told Fin, and chased after Peter. I caught up to him by the stairs. I said, Doc Mathias?

Yes?

He still in Oregon?

He was when I left, Peter answered.

Still at his practice?

I presume.

Thank you, I said. Peter waited to see if there was anything else, but I just finished, Have a fine night. He cocked his head. I will, he said.

Fineas was back at his desk when I came into the office, going through invoices, and I took the guest seat. He cleared his throat. I’m sorry, he said. About a moment ago. It isn’t your problem.

Things will look up, I said. You’ll see. Fin didn’t answer. He begun to sign off on papers with his pen, and I went back to my sandwich, eating real pleased. He can keep hisself busy with his Jesus. I will focus on my own miracle.

I was having breakfast by myself today a few blocks from the Bowery, and Aidan Bourke took a seat across from me. Fecking bacon, he said, picking at my meal. They make it of a horse’s arse end, ye know that?

I’ve made bacon, I said, and it don’t come from a horse. Bacon is pig. I pulled the plate away. This ain’t yours, anyhow.

Oh, we ain’t close now that ye got your new post? Bourke asked.

We never been close.

I done you a good turn.

You put in for a payment, I said. That’s all.

I picked a bit of my meat off and chewed it, watching him. There was red stains up the side of his sleeve. What’s that? I asked, nodding to it. Aidan glanced. That? he said. Aye, that’s a nuisance won’t be bothering me no feckin’ more.

You coming for a lawyer?

Yes, he said. But not for me.

He snatched a flapjack off my plate, and stuffed it into his mouth whole. I watched him, frowning. Then I motioned to the waiter, and said I would take another plateful and a glass of orange juice for my guest. Rum! Aidan barked. They don’t serve rum for breakfast, you damn lush, I said. I Dad.

There ye are, cunny, Aidan returned. I thought they cleaned the sass out of you.

Who?

Your societal friends.

Are you talking bout Fin?

Whole lot of them Moriarties, he said, and them senators and marys and pillow-touches.

I scoffed. I ain’t changed any.

Where you sleeping now? Fifth Avenue?

Whorehouse, if you got to know.

I took a sip of my own orange juice while Aidan howled. That right? he said. Madge-chasing tom, you are.

I never done nothing, I said. I just sleep there.

You paying for a room, Aidan said, and you don’t dab it up with the girls? I shook my head. Waste of money, if you ask me.

I ain’t asking you, I replied. What you need a lawyer for?

Paper’s saying Fernando Wood paid to put Devlin as city street commissioner.

So?

So it ain’t true, Aidan said, and it’s about to start nasty business they don’t want dredged.

You for or against Devlin? I asked. I don’t care one fecking whit, Aidan said, long as they don’t kick Wood out of his chair over it. The waiter came and put the plate of flapjacks down, and Bourke began to eat, still talking. Crumbs was going everywhere. Wood goes, Aidan said, then he takes the Municipal Police with him and we get stuck when them new Metropolitans. Municipal we got in our pocket already. I ain’t got patience to beat a fresh force to our means.

I sighed, and rubbed my temples. How does this lawyer figure into anything?

Papers, you daft cunny, Aidan retorted. I told ye. Set the law on on the news. Get them called off and the story quieted.

I’ll do what I see fit, I answered. That all?

He growled. You ain’t going to do nothing, Aidan snarled. You’re a useless bitch like the rest.

I stared at him. His eyes were dark and wild. You think you can bully me? I replied, calm. I been shot, stabbed, met up with Injuns and rode with killers. And now I’m sitting with them senators and high societals, so you show me respect when you come to my table and you share your troubles. I wiped my mouth. My ear ain’t a small thing to come by, I said. Choose your words careful. You ain’t collecting a debt. You’re begging a favor.

Fuck you, Aidan said.

Ain’t happening, I answered.

I stood up and smoothed my dress, opening my satchel for my coin purse. Aidan was still stewing, but he said, Hold.

I pulled out my purse. What?

Your husband.

I waited till he spoke again. He’s coming back to town, Aidan said, if you got unfinished business.

When?

You tell the fecking papers to quit the commissioner story, and I’ll give you word when I get it.

You send word, I said, and I’ll end the story. I ain’t doing it a minute before.

Which whorehouse you at?

Leave message for me at the docks. You can find it easy. I tossed a ten dollar note on the table. I said, Newest one in town.

Bill’s seventy-five cents, Aidan noted.

I ain’t hurting, I answered.

I went about the rest of my day, checking the post for word from Doc Mathias, and visiting Rose and the children for early supper at the Moriarty house, but the idea of Aubrey shook me more than I let on. I didn’t know how I would face him again. I didn’t know if I ever wanted to. I suspected knowing where he traveled would be just as good if I got a mind to avoid him. I ain’t even gone back to the grist mill since the robbing, and even though I suspected it long emptied and silent, the thought of him lurking in those shadows with his glowing pipe and his dark black eyes spooked me to the core.

I saw Margaux on the street today. She was holding a dark-haired baby, so I almost didn’t place her because I hardly ever seen her be motherly in her life. But when I paused, it was for certain my sister, and there was a pretty brown-skinned girl pushing a carriage behind her. The girl was heavy with a baby of her own. I thought at first Margaux got a nanny, and I was burnt up at the thought, but then they stopped walking and looked back, and Harris chased them down. He bussed the brown girl on the cheek, hugging her to his side. It must be his wife. Good. They brung Margaux’s children back and she was going to have to tend them like she ought.

I crept closer, figuring the black-haired baby to be Edward, and the one in the carriage Verona. I didn’t ever get near enough to confirm, though. Margaux turned my way, and I ducked down a back alley. By the time I was ready to come out, they had gone.

Greeves let me know a letter came for me today, which said: YOU ARE SUMMONED. MY OFFICE. SEVEN PROMPTLY. S M. I showed it to Fineas. What’s S M? I wondered. Sean Moriarty, Fineas answered. It’s from my father.

Am I in trouble? I asked. You been summoned, too?

No, Fin said. He said it real slow. At first I thought he was counting the crates on the docks, but then he turned to me, frowning. I have no idea.

Maybe it’s the contract, I said. I still ain’t signed anything.

Maybe, Fin agreed.

You want to walk me over? We’re headed same way.

He nodded and told me to wait, so I did. We were closing up the night at the shipyard. He locked the office and the warehouse and came back, his hands in his pockets, his new coat buttoned loose. We started out toward his home. I have something for you, Fin said after a block. I forgot to give it to you earlier.

What is it?

A gift, he said. He reached in his pocket and held out a box. It was about the size of the jewelry boxes I seen in stores, and a dark blue shade. I took it, a bit discomfited. I hope you didn’t spend much, I said, because I didn’t want to say I ain’t much for jewelry. Fineas chuckled. I did, he answered.

You oughn’t to of.

I can’t return it, either. It’s personalized.

Is it a pocket watch? I asked, hopeful, and Fin said, Open it and see.

I took the top off. Inside was a small stack of business cards.

I plucked one out, and turned it over in my fingers. MORIARTY & WILDE IMPORTS was printed in the center. Underneath that was a real pretty swirly line, and underneath that was typed: SOPHIE WILDE, PROPRIETOR.

I stared at the cards, running my thumb over the ink. My own business cards. My name, writ so beautifully on the paper. All them years ago when Michael said being a girl didn’t get a card, and here I was now.

I looked at Fin, and I could hardly contain myself. A giddiness came up from my belly into my heart and throat and then spilled over my cheeks. My face ached from smiling.

You like them? he asked. He was grinning now, too. We were still strolling, and I had slowed, then stopped. He paused beside me.

I said, You couldn’t of picked better.

I thought you deserved them. You’re the best worker we have.

Bergman’s best worker.

He’s at a disadvantage, Fin said, as you have an extra finger. I laughed, and he gazed, smiling. Then he said, There’s a particular way to hand them out, you know.

How?

Right hand, Fineas said. Always. Print side up.

Why the right? I asked. Fin said, It’s considered rude in some cultures to use the left. When I looked baffled, he added, You’ll be dealing with less Americans the longer you’re in trade.

Show me, I said.

He put his hand out for one of my cards. When I gave it to him, he tucked it into a pocket. We just stood there a spell, and then I started laughing again. You ain’t doing anything! I said, and Fineas’s eyes sparkled. You have to ask, he said. Never hand out a card without being asked.

Why?

Good etiquette. Besides, like I said, cards are costly. Don’t waste them on unlikely business.

Can I have a card? I asked, smiling, and Fineas said, Gladly. He reached in his pocket, and withdrew it in one sweep. His wrist almost flicked when he held it toward me. It was fancier than mine and ivory stock: FINEAS MORIARTY, it said. MORIARTY & SONS, ESTABLISHED 1798.

You got your own set! I gasped.

I do, he agreed. And now I have one of yours. We can officially call on each other.

I held his card to my chest and beamed. Put my card in your stack of letters, I said teasing, and I can be up for your wedding date.

Fin smiled. You don’t have to go through the letters, he said. I’d be happy to have you on my arm.

I blushed. Really? I asked. Fin was a little flushed, too. Of course, he said. I wanted you from the first.

Something bout the way he said it made my stomach knot up, but in a awful sparking way. I ducked my head, shy all the sudden, and started walking again, and he caught up, and we didn’t say much the rest of the way. We just talked about the weather some, and snuck peeks at each other when the other wasn’t looking. I held his card in the palm of my hand, the ink of his name imprinting itself.

Mister Moriarty’s office was on the top floor of the house, which was four whole stories tall, so I had to walk up stairs and stairs, and by the time I got there I was winded and late. Sinner, he barked when I came in. Eight past seven? Is that what you call prompt?

I tried, I said, but he just pointed to the guest seat. I had only been in here one other time. It was the gaudiest room I ever been in. There was a blue-tiled fireplace and boar’s heads on gold plaques and stuffed goose with sapphire eyes. Everything was too fancy to be nice to look at. Even the chair I was sitting in got scrollwork and velvet with etched patterns, and was a real eyesore, when you got down to it.

Mister Moriarty poured himself a drink. I waited for him to offer me, but he didn’t. He wandered to his desk, and groaned as he sat down.

He eyed me a moment. They were the color of Fin’s and Ronan’s, but the sharpest of them all. You’ve been selling liquor to pleasure establishments, he announced finally.

I exhaled. I didn’t say anything, though.

You needn’t confirm, Mister Moriarty said. I’ve proof.

It was my business before the docks, I said. I said I would bring it along.

Perhaps you did. I can’t recall either way. Mister Moriarty’s expression was stern.

I waited for him to say something else. After a spell, I asked, You want me to quit?

Who else do you sell to?

Few, now, I said. I’m so busy. Four bars uptown, one… I tried to remember what he called it. One pleasure house, I said. And one dog race track.

You were wed twice, Mister Moriarty said.

Yes, I answered.

To a Mister Handey. A magician by trade.

I shifted in the ugly chair. Yes, I said.

And a wanted fugitive from the law directly after. Do I have my facts correct?

We ain’t together anymore.

Were you legally wed?

There wasn’t no papers, I said. Except for the first.

Mister Moriarty sighed, and shuffled some letters on his desk. He always had a stack there, and quills and stamps and sealing wax. Seemed like all of New York needed something from him. I waited again. You going to scold me? I asked. Because I learnt my lesson.

Mister Moriarty moved another letter. Do you know what I import, Miss Wilde?

Meats. Fruits and trees and rugs. Chickens. Spices.

Yes, he said. Among other things.

You moving slaves? I asked, suddenly worried. I don’t want no part of slaving, I said. I keep quarrel with it.

I am not a slaver, Mister Moriarty snapped. How dare you.

I slunk a bit. He scowled. No, he said. I procure medicines.

Oh.

You seem disappointed.

I only don’t know what this has got to do with me, I answered. I figured least with slaves, you had a reason to tell me.

Medicines, Mister Moriarty continued, such as cocaine and morphine. When I didn’t reply, he pressed, I sell to doctors. You understand.

I understand, I said, even though I didn’t truly.

I have a surplus as of late, Mister Moriarty said.

What you going to do with it? I asked, and he said, The question is rather: what are you going to do with it, Miss Wilde?

We gazed across the desk at each other. He didn’t waver. But I don’t need medicine, I said. Mister Moriarty replied, I’m certain in your circles, there are those willing to pay a hefty fee for curatives.

I realized then what he was saying. I ain’t a drug peddler, I whispered.

Neither am I, Mister Moriarty replied. He templed his hands together, his gaze strong. He said, I am simply a business man with a surplus of medicine. As I told you.

I was still in my seat, my heart hammering. I can’t, I argued, and Mister Moriarty said, You certainly can, and you will. I expect nothing less from the proprietor of my newest shipyard.

He stood up. He waited for me to stand, too. I did, though my legs felt unsteady. He came around the desk and put his hands over mine while we shook. Thirty percent is yours, he said. Seventy percent is returned to me. I’ll have sheets listing prices and weights sent to you directly. He was shorter than me but I felt him like a huge presence, filling the room. His voice was deep and controlled. Do not speak of this to Fineas, Mister Moriarty ordered. Or any of my sons. And certainly not my dear Rose.

Of course not, I murmured. I wouldn’t.

Mister Moriarty led me to the door. After he opened it, and I was in the hall, he gave me a smile. It was unnatural. Wear your hair up, he said, almost like he was being friendly. I do so enjoy women with their hair up.

I waited while he shut the door again, and I stood there in the hall, hand on belly, reeling, feeling the bodice of the dress I was wearing, the one he asked that I wear. I put my hands on my hair, which was hanging loose in two braids, and then I lifted the braids on top of my head. I twisted them in a knot, testing the weight of it. And while I was touching the bun, still trying to figure what happened, Ronan wandered around the corner. Oh, he said. He sounded disgusted. His scowl deepened when he saw his father’s office door. A private meeting? he huffed. In the evening?

I didn’t– I said, but Ronan snapped, You are a half-breed woman with a stroke of luck. That’s all you are, and that’s all you’ll ever be. And though I am currently the only one to know it, the longer you are around this family, the more apparent it will become. His eyes flashed. Tread carefully, he warned. You will disappoint them, and when you do, I will be at the ready.

Ronan gave me a final look. Then he walked past me, and went into another room, leaving me alone again.

I waited. I undid my hair. I walked downstairs. I came outside. I went through the city, back to my tiny room surrounded by whores, and when I woke up this morning, the strange fog was still rolling through.

Where are you living? Fin asked, and I said, I find spots to rest my head.

You still haven’t bought a house? he asked. We were outside on the docks. The shipyard was bustling. We been open three weeks and had near sixty ships in and out already. No, I said.

Is it money? he said. You should have more than enough.

I shook my head and looked out over the water. It ain’t that.

So what is it?

I hate this city, I said. I don’t want no more ties to it.

Fineas went quiet a moment. Then he nodded to a passing dock worker. In the left unit, he told the man. It’s fragile, so handle it carefully. To me, he said, My father wants you to sign a two year contract.

I scoffed. Fin raised his brows. It’s standard of practice, he said. I had to sign one.

So you’re here two more years?

I’m here three, he said. Mine was a five year. That’s what’s left on it.

Another worker came up to us. I ain’t got my check from last week, the man groused. Fin nodded to me, and I said, Give me your timecard and I’ll get it settled. When you get off?

Two hours, he said.

I looked at Fin, who pulled out his pocket watch. He said to me, Banks are open another forty minutes.

I put my hand out, and the man gave me his timecard, and I told Fin I’d be back. Most of my job now was doing things like this. I got some scheduling, too, and some paperwork, but it was errands as much as anything. It ain’t a bad job, and it paid real well. The dock workers acted up the first couple days having to speak with me as a manager, but they fell in line quick. Long as I got the power to fire, they got to keep right.

I ran upstairs to the tiny office in the back. I knocked first, then opened the door. Greeves? I said.

Greeves was at his desk. The eye patch was gone. His blind eye has sealed closed permanent, and he has some sprinkling of white in his hair near the temples. He still got his hunch back, too. All them things endeared him to me more. Yes? he asked.

You want to do a bank run?

He pointed to a ledger. I’m still in the midst of accounting, he said. Perhaps in an hour?

I tapped the timecard against my palm. No, I said. It won’t keep. Thank you, anyhow.

Peter was leaning up against the far wall, reading a book. He glanced up. Are you headed that way? he asked, and I said, I got to. Only three of us can draw money from the account.

I’ll walk you over, he said. It’s a beautiful day.

I waited for him to set his book down and rebutton his vest. We walked downstairs together. I like your suit, I told Peter, and Peter smiled. Do you? he said. I bought it on Greeve’s new paycheck. I’m enjoying being a kept man. I laughed. He offered his arm to me, and I linked mine through.

I passed Fin on the docks and said I’d be back in twenty minutes, and he nodded. How are you finding New York? I asked Peter. Peter exhaled. I’m fond, he said. There’s always something to do.

You like your home?

It’s a fine house, Peter said. I only wish we could fill it with children. Then he glanced down at me and smiled. His eyes were still young and handsome.

You can fill it with fine things instead, I said, that shavers won’t ruin. Peter chuckled. I do have my eye on a Meissen vase, he admitted. Thirty-eight dollars, though, and Greeves says it’s a waste.

I’ll buy it for you, I said. When Peter said, No, you oughtn’t, I said, You been good to our family for a long time, and I brung you all this way. It’s the least I can do. We were heading down Broadway, and the street was filt with happy people. Think of something for your fellow, too, I said. So I can spoil you both.

I would have been walking with you more often if I’d known you were offering presents, Peter teased, and I laughed.

I did my banking and I took some funds of my own out, and I gave eighty dollars to Peter, saying it was for his vase and one thing of Greeves’ choosing. Peter was giddy. Thank you, sweetheart, he said. He gave me a kiss real quick on the lips, and the woman behind the counter gasped. She turned red. Oh, my, she whispered. Are you newlyweds?

I eyed Peter. He grinned. We’ve been kept apart, he said. A very long time.

You make a lovely couple, the woman said.

Thank you, I answered.

When we were outside, I laughed more. My stars, I said. Why would they think that?

Why wouldn’t they? Peter answered. You’re in a dress, and I’m in trousers. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. They haven’t any idea what we truly are underneath.

I looked up at him. I like what you are, I said.

I like what you are, he said. Then he added, quietly, Who could have guessed I’d end up the wife and you’d be the proprietor?

And we’re both happy, ain’t we? I asked.

Peter smiled. We are, he said.

We got back to the docks and I paid my man, and went up to my bare office and finished signing off on the schedules and cargo for the next week. I was in such a fine mood that I didn’t even mind when Fin brought the schedules back the next morning with marks all over them. I’d switched the days of the week like I did with letters. Things on paper just make less sense to me, I reckon.

Mister Moriarty said it was common to be picked up at a train station, so Missus Moriarty and the children would be brought to his home by carriage, and we would all have a grand dinner to welcome them. I was invited, provided I presented acceptable. I groused about it when we was seated at the table. I don’t know why I got to wear dresses all the time now, I said.

Mister Moriarty cut his eyes at me. It’s because you’re a lady, he replied sharply. You will present yourself as one.

But you gave me a job for a fellow.

Fineas said, He wants to know that you’ll follow directions, that’s all. Mister Moriarty huffed, unfolding his napkin. Fin laughed. You know it’s true, da, he added. Remember when you told Donovan to grow a beard?

I remember, Donovan said sullenly. It was atrocious.

It was a business decision, Mister Moriarty replied. We were dealing with Amish traders.

Donovan sighed. Fineas said to Ronan, How was your honeymoon?

Invigorating, Ronan said.

Were you able to take the falconry course at the lodge?

Twice. And we ice skated in an indoor rink, and enjoyed dancing in the ballroom.

You and Kitty get time to yourselfs? I asked, and Ronan said, Don’t be crass. Cormac laughed. I shrugged. I ain’t being crass, I said. I meant talking.

You needn’t concern yourself with how I tend to my marriage, Ronan answered. And if we’re sharing private matters, I ought to ask how you enjoy having your sister so close.

I don’t, I answered. I wanted her gone back to Oregon, but someone saw fit to put her up here.

Ronan said, It’s frustrating, isn’t it? When you have a plan, and then someone disrupts it. He glared at me, then took a drink of his water.

Why are you sore with me? I asked, bewildered, and he said, That shipyard was mine.

That shipyard was never yours, Mister Moriarty interrupted. You do yourself a disservice to speak out of turn.

It was mine, Ronan insisted. I found the building permits, I spoke to the landowners. I crafted the certificate of sales. I worked six months on those docks, and she comes in like a thief in the night and steals it from under me.

Ronan, Mister Moriarty warned. You do yourself– a disservice.

There was silence at the table. Ronan shook his head but didn’t say a word more. I took a drink myself, looking at the centerpiece. It was a pig with the eyes sewn shut with buttons. I never seen a thing so gruesome.

Well, Ronan is now wed, Donovan began, and soon our youngest sister will join him. It’s time I found myself a wife.

I certainly agree, Mister Moriarty said. If I’d one complaint of you all, it’s that you’re late bloomers to responsibility.

Donovan ignored him. Sophie? he said. Do me the honor?

No, I said. I drank some more water. Donovan was watching me, amused. But you’ve done it twice already, Donovan replied. A third marriage should hardly warrant an eye bat.

I almost bristled but didn’t want to give him the pleasure. Instead, I said, I ain’t batting a eye because you bring nothing to the arrangement.

I bring money. Financial security. Material pleasures.

We got bout the same salary now, don’t we? I asked, real sugar sweet, and Donovan flushed. Fineas laughed. Then Donovan said, I bring other pleasures, and cast his gaze to his lap.

Van, Mister Moriarty barked. You are soon to be joining your brother on my poor side.

I said, I wouldn’t bet on that for a lifetime if you can’t keep a woman with it for a night.

I’ve kept plenty a woman for a night.

No, you haven’t, Cormac said as the maids brought our plates out. Name a single return visit, Ronan added.

Donovan said, I could hardly narrow my lovers down.

Mister Moriarty slammed his hand on the table, and we went quiet again. He glowered at all of us. Donovan, Mister Moriarty warned. One more vile word. Then he looked at me and said, Sinner, do not bait him. If I have to, so help me–

A tiny girlish voice cried out from the hall. I want to wear it! it complained. Not inside, Missus Moriarty said, her voice kind and patient. There’s no reason. Let me take it off.

I gasped and got up. You were not excused! Mister Moriarty continued, but I broke into a run. I went round the corner and down past the kitchen and then I saw her, most beautiful woman in my whole life, her hair still in a bun and all four children surrounding her. Rose! I cried. She lit up when our eyes met. Sophie! she called out. Eoghan was by her waist. He was so tall, I hardly recognized him at first. He moved quick when I got close, and she threw her arms out and I ran into them. I almost toppled her over but I held tight.

We just rocked in place a moment, and I felt my chest close up. You said you cut your hair, I whispered. It grew, she whispered to me.

I finally let her go enough to look at her again, and we was grinning real sappy. What are you doing here? she wondered, and I said, They’re having a dinner for you. I was invited.

Oh, gracious, Missus Moriarty said. I’m famished.

Roast duck, I hear.

I could eat one whole myself, she answered, her cheeks pink. Then Daisy tugged on her dress and complained, I like my jacket, Mama, I don’t want to take it off. Missus Moriarty looked down. Your sisters took theirs off, she said. You can do the same.

I never heard Michael’s girls called anyone else’s sisters before. It took me aback. Michael’s youngest, the baby, was standing already. She walked unsteady on chubby legs, holding onto the nearest bench.

Rose? a man said, and we turned to see Fin. He was smiling a private, shy way I’d never seen before. Missus Moriarty exhaled, then smiled back. He came closer. She waved him even nearer, and then, when they were a foot apart, she reached up and touched his curly hair. He stared down at her, warm. You’re so tall, Missus Moriarty murmured. I’ve always been this height, he said. Since you left.

You look so much like Ma, she said.

Thank you? he laughed, and she said, You have her mouth, I mean. It’s good. Missus Moriarty pause, taking him in. Then she hugged him, and he hugged her back.

When they broke apart, Eoghan said, Who are you?

I’m your uncle, he said. It’s a pleasure to meet you. He bent down to their level. What are all your names? he asked. I’m Fin.

Eoghan introduced all the children, and Missus Moriarty pointed out which were hers by birthing and which was hers by marriage. Eoghan took Fineas in real suspicious, but Daisy thought he was wonderful. She asked if he could hold her on the way to dinner. You’re too big, Daisy, Missus Moriarty scolded. You should know better.

It’s no trouble, Fin said. Up you go. He picked her up and put her on his shoulders. Daisy squealed happily.

We all went back to the table, where the meal was set up, and all the men stood when we came in. Cormac didn’t say a thing, but Ronan said hello and Donovan did too. They acted queer about it and stiff. Mister Moriarty stood, and gave Missus Moriarty a small pat on the back. Welcome back, dear, he said. It was nice but gruff. Then he said, Children to the children’s quarters.

But I always eat with them, da, Missus Moriarty said. She smiled. They’ll behave.

Ronan said, House rules, Rose.

She looked at me, and I shrugged. Fineas asked his father, Can we have dessert in the garden with them later?

It’s muggy out, Donovan complained. My suit will wrinkle.

You don’t have to join us, Donovan, Fin answered. Donovan huffed.

Yes, yes, Mister Moriarty agreed. Dessert in the garden. Say goodbye, children.

Missus Moriarty whispered to Eoghan that she would see him soon, and Eoghan agreed. He had more of his father in him now. All his boyish features had taken on a manly hardness, and his brow was heavy. He and the girls were led away, and the cooks brought us out plates and plates of food, more than I ever ate in my life. There was the roast duck I was told about, and mutton and quail and lamb, and tiny plates of tea sandwiches and plum pudding and apple tarts and jams with scones. I couldn’t keep my eyes off Missus Moriarty. Everything bout her was perfect. Even how she chewed and dabbed at her mouth with her napkin, glancing around at her brothers. Even Donovan’s rowdy stories and Ronan’s uppityness and Cormac being a oaf was tolerable with her there.

I found her hand under the table and squeezed it. She looked at me. Her eyes sparkled like Fin’s. She squeezed back.

We talked a awful lot about the wedding. Missus Moriarty didn’t even mind that my sister had planned so much of it, and her brother had filt in the rest. She only wanted to know if it was in a church, and Ronan boasted that it was the best church in the city. How wonderful, Missus Moriarty said.

Your dress is being beaded, Donovan added. I oversaw the design myself. That was worrisome. I still ain’t forgot Donovan’s lilac suit and pink tie.

Fineas was eager to see the children again so he rushed us to dessert, even though we were so stuffed I couldn’t imagine having another bite of anything. We went out to the back porch anyhow, and the maids brought around the shavers two at a time. Eoghan went straight for the water fountain in the hedges. Michael’s oldest cheered him on. Oh, my stars, Missus Moriarty sighed, sounding awful tired, and Fin said, Go on and rest. I’ll keep them company. He took his dinner jacket off and rolled his sleeves, like he did when we were fencing. Hide! he called to the children. I’ll count to fifteen and find you.

The kids screamed and scattered. Fineas made a display of counting. Michael’s youngest, the baby, didn’t know how to play so she just held onto Fin’s leg, staring up at him while he covered his eyes. When he was done counting, he looked down and saw her. Aye, you snapper, he said affectionately. He picked her up easy as anything and put her on a hip. I didn’t hear what he said next, but he whispered something into her cheek, and she giggled.

Donovan and Ronan was at our table, but they were complaining about the honey lavendar iced cream and how the chefs did everything wrong, and only Missus Moriarty saw me watching Fineas. He always liked children, she said to me.

He did?

She nodded. I expected he would have some of his own by now, she admitted. She scooped up a bit of the iced cream. A little boy, she said, to run around with.

I didn’t answer. My heart tugged, but it ain’t my place.

But now Ronan and Kitty are married, Missus Moriarty continued. Perhaps they’ll make the next grandchildren.

Ronan overheard. Within a year, he said.

Donovan argued, You can’t plan those things. They simply happen.

Aye, Missus Moriarty said. In God’s time.

God’s time will be within a year, Ronan said stubbornly. He tasted his spoon, then shuddered. This is tripe, he said. I need to discern who to fire for it.

It’s delicious, I said. I ate some just to spite him. While I was licking the spoon, I saw Donovan watching me with that skin-crawling look he got, and I put it down again quick. Missus Moriarty said, If the good Lord is willing, I’d love to have another.

Another child? Donovan said. He had moved from lewd to horrified. Four is more than enough. You have an heir, that’s all that matters. I intend to quit at one if it’s a son.

You’re from a large family yourself, Ronan said, and Donovan said, Precisely. I can’t stand competing with the lot of you.

I thought you were done having babes, I said to Missus Moriarty, and she said, It would be nice to have one with Michael. She said his name like it was made of chocolate. Shoot, I said. It would be the best baby ever lived.

How many do you plan to have, Sophie? Ronan asked.

I said, I ain’t having any.

The whole table stopped dead. Ronan near choked on his iced cream. Are you unable? he demanded.

Maybe, I said. I don’t know.

It’s your womanly duty, Ronan said, to bear children.

Ronan, Missus Moriarty scolded. But she looked at me with her pretty blue eyes, real sincere. They’re such a blessing, she said. I would hope your mind would change one day.

Donovan said, You ought to have at least the one.

I don’t need a heir, I said, and Donovan said, The heir is for a man. For a woman, you only need proof your commodity is in working order.

I rolled my eyes. Who I got to prove to? Plenty of folks know that works.

I didn’t realize how vulgar it was till it was out, and Missus Moriarty blushed beet red. Ronan fussed, You are impossible. It is impossible to have a civilized conversation with you. Donovan said, Plenty? And yet I have never been given opportunity myself?

You’re ruining dessert, I said.

You are, Ronan said.

Donovan was freshly glum. I have no idea how to bed you, he complained. I wonder how others have succeeded.

I said to Missus Moriarty, You hear this? and Missus Moriarty nodded. It’s familiar, she said. I listened to it for years growing up. She set her spoon down. I’m sorry you’re the object of it, she said. Before it was Prudence Sutton, and she was innocent to most of his suggestions.

Are we talking about Prudence? Fineas asked, taking a seat. His brow was dotted with sweat. It was hot out and the kids had given him a running about, I imagine. She was such a nice girl, Fin said. He reached for the iced cream.

You would know best, Ronan answered, and Donovan moped more. Another arrow to the heart, Donovan said. I’m twice wounded.

What? I asked.

Missus Moriarty sighed. Fineas bedded her, she admitted.

My eyebrows near jumped off my head. I looked to Fin, who was avoiding my eyes. What? I said.

It was a long time ago, Fin answered. I’d forgotten.

How could you forget? Donovan said. Strawberry blond hair. Tiny as a minute. Violet eyes.

No one has violet eyes, I said.

Ronan said, Prudence Sutton did.

Were you courting? I said, and Ronan said, It was during a holiday party, of all things. Donovan said, I got a knit sweater as a gift. And Fineas got Prudence.

Fin cleared his throat. He was keeping his voice even. We weren’t courting, he said, and this is embarrassing. I’d rather have a go at something else.

No, I said. I’m curious. I was.

I was different back then, he said. Let’s leave it at that.

I pressed, At a holiday party?

Ronan gave me a hard scowl. For five years, Ronan said, he and Donovan would pick up society women like they were wildflowers in a meadow. It was shameful.

I realize that, Fineas said, sounding agitated, and I would appreciate closing the topic. That is not my life any more. He stirred his iced cream in his bowl, letting it melt. I only said she was a nice girl, he added. I didn’t expect it would start this.

I’m sorry, Missus Moriarty said. You seem– kinder. Than I remember.

Fin said, I’ve found God.

As did Prudence that Christmas, Donovan grumbled, and I clapped my hand over my mouth. I couldn’t help it. I started laughing so hard tears came to my eyes. Donovan weren’t even joking. He was sore. Fineas clenched his jaw, staring at his iced cream, and I kept laughing, and Missus Moriarty whispered, Sophie! but I couldn’t stop. How do you know she enjoyed herself so thorough? I finally asked, and Ronan said, Nobody answer.

Donovan said, We heard her.

At the holiday party? I repeated. I couldn’t contain myself. Laughter was just busting out of me. Christ, Fineas said. Stop.

I ain’t having a run on you, I said. I’m impressed, truth be told.

You would be, Ronan said. You of little morals. It is a wonder you and your sister are the same blood.

I ignored him, and they started talking bout something else, which was the park going up nearby. It is supposed to be real grand. I kept peeking at Fin. All this time I thought he was too holy to know what to do with a woman, and that he would think me unholy for knowing what to do with a man. But I reckon I didn’t know everything about him after all.

I watched him brush a curl off his forehead, and lift the spoon to his lips. His cream wasn’t iced any more. It was warm and melted, and he drank it careful.

We all played a few hands of faro and then Ronan said he was tired, and had to go to sleep. I hoped Donovan would go next, but it was Fineas who said he had a bit of a headache, and the wine at dinner didn’t agree with him. I’m going to take a bath, he said, and climb into bed. I was staring up at him. His eyes were nearly green under the lanterns. He smiled down at me. Goodnight, Sophie, he said. Sweet dreams.

Sweet dreams, I answered. Then he walked over to Rose and kissed her on the head, and disappeared into the house.

I went home at midnight to my room at the parlor, and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to a rowdy couple in the next room. The louder it got, the more I begun to think of the story of Prudence and Fin and the holiday party. I Dad. I am worked. Some people might be fine with being celibate, but I ain’t built like that. I wish there was something I could do myself to quit being so pent up. As it is, I am going to find a new place to stay tomorrow, because a whore house is nowhere for a single woman, I have decided.

But breakfast was just all the men in the house, sitting round eating pancakes and bacon, and most of them wasn’t even out of their pajamas, even though I thought to put on a dress. Ronan just nodded at me when I came in and took a seat. Donovan gushed, I was devastated to hear of the harm that befell you, my dear. I cried a thousand tears. Cormac looked at Donovan and laughed, and Donovan hissed at him. Cormac bared his teeth back, then went to his meal. Callum and Fineas was together doing a word puzzle, and Mister Moriarty was reading the paper. He folded it in half, and looked at me over the top. Sinner, he said. You’re hale.

It ain’t the first time I been shot, I said to him. It was true, but Cormac laughed.

It was most fortuitous you were at the bank, Mister Moriarty said. Then he said, wary: Quite fortuitous.

I got a good eye, I answered. Same’s Fin.

What were you even doing over there, Fineas? Ronan asked, and Fin looked up from the puzzle. I had a meeting about the Fisher account, he replied.

Ronan sighed. That isn’t done yet? I expected the matter closed two weeks ago.

You handle your business, Fineas replied crisply, and leave me to mine.

Father, Ronan argued.

Mister Moriarty glowered. Fineas was given acquisitions after a proving period, he said. Do you doubt my decision making capabilities?

Ronan scowled, and poked at his bacon. Mister Moriarty turned to Cormac next, asking about some buildings that were going up, and Cormac got flustered for the first time and said they were behind schedule, but it was the weather and not the workers. Donovan smirked while Cormac was scolded, but he was next. Van, Mister Moriarty said, I have yet to see your certificates of record for the property near the park. If memory serves, you are also to pen a letter to the commissioner.

They’re nearly done, Donovan said.

Nearly is as close to nothing as it is to anything, Mister Moriarty retorted. He wiped his mouth with a napkin. I don’t pay you good money to prance around in nancified suits and harass the help, do I?

Donovan swallowed. He looked at his plate. You do not, Father, he replied.

I went on eating, enjoying the show.

Mister Moriarty grunted. He finally turned to Fineas and Callum. Fineas, he said. Fin nodded. Close the Fisher account, Mister Moriarty said. I understand, Fin answered. Tomorrow by close of business, Mister Moriarty added, and Fin said, I understand, da.

Tell your brother I’d like his ledgers by the end of the day as well, Mister Moriarty said, and Fin wrote something on the puzzle paper. Callum read it. He looked up at his father, and nodded too. Then he saw me for the first time. His hand went up in a shy wave. I smiled, and waved back.

Sinner, Mister Moriarty said.

I turned. Yes?

I bought a new shipyard, Mister Moriarty said. It opens next week. You will helm it.

There was total silence at the table. My mouth went dry, and I looked to Fin, who was as stunned as me. Ronan finally spoke. Congratulations, he said to me. His voice was low and cold as snow.

Congratulations, Donovan echoed.

Then they were quiet again, waiting for me. I’m sorry, I said after a moment. I can’t.

Mister Moriarty said, I must have misheard. Only a fool would decline a job offer, and I do not tolerate fools.

I have a job, I said. I sell liquor.

My job is superior, Mister Moriarty replied sharply. You will begin at a salary of two thousand per week. You will take all Catholic holidays, and I will arrange for your housing. He cut a piece of bacon off. It is unbecoming, he said, for a subordinate of mine to be living out of a hotel.

I answered, I got no history with shipyards. You flatter me awfully, but it would be true foolishness to take on a task I ain’t suited to.

Mister Moriarty gazed at me. I appreciate your candor, he replied. I nodded, and went back to my pancakes. But he wasn’t done. Though I have made provisions, he said. Fineas will partner with you. You may rely on him for instruction.

Fineas said, A partnership?

Why must I repeat myself? Mister Moriarty said.

Fineas paused. I’m sorry, he said. I’m out of words.

Is no one grateful for my benevolence? Mister Moriarty bellowed, and Donovan replied quickly, I am, Father. Always. Cormac chuffed.

What about my shipments? I asked.

Direct your shipments to the new docks, he said. Do what you will. Sell how you will. It doesn’t matter a whit to me.

Why? Ronan interrupted. When we turned our heads to him, he flushed, and straightened his back. I’ve been asking about the shipyard, he said. I’m getting married in mere days. It would be an ideal wedding present.

Precisely. You are getting married in mere days. Mister Moriarty sighed. I don’t want you working harder, Ronan. I’d like grandchildren.

He will have to work hard at that, Cormac said. Donovan chuckled.

I eyed Fineas across the table, and he was staring at me. All I wanted to do was speak to him privately. Fin must of been thinking the same thing. Let me show Sophie the plans, he said carefully, and Mister Moriarty waved a hand. You both are excused, he said.

We got up from the table, and I followed Fin into the study. He shut the door behind us. Then he locked it. I waited while he turned to me, a curious expression on his face, and before I knew it, he had got me in his arms and was hugging me. I was caught off guard. He spun me in a circle, my chest tight against his. The shipyard! he whispered in my ear, sounding like a child with a fresh toy.

You knew bout this? I whispered back.

I felt Fin nod against my shoulder. He set me down, then pulled away from me. His hands was still on my arms. I had almost blacked out from how hard he’d squeezed my burn. It’s at the end of Wall Street, he said. They’ve been building it for over a year. I had to do permits on it months ago. My father said they weren’t buying it, that the committee ruled against the purchase. The board must have done a revote.

I couldn’t track none of what he was saying, because I didn’t know the language and also because I was recovering from the pain. He was awfully excited, though. You ought to run it alone, I said. You’re familiar.

I couldn’t handle it, Fineas answered. The job is too large. I’m surprised he left it to just the two of us.

I’m surprised, too, I said. For how smart your pa seems to be, he got no good reasons to involve me.

Well, Fineas said, our company has been entirely family to this point. I have to imagine bringing in an outsider will fare well in public opinion.

He don’t even like me, I said.

Of course he does.

All he hands me is complaints.

If he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t bother trying to fix you. He says most people are as a waste of time.

I took a seat on the nearest armchair, tucking my knees together. It was a lot to consider. Fin sat across from me, beaming. Think of it, he gushed. I’d finally get the position I hoped. We could work side by side, every day. A fresh venture.

But I don’t want to run docks, I said.

Two thousand dollars a week, Sophie! Fin said. None of us even made that until a few years ago. I didn’t reply. My father is a good ally, Fineas pressed. His backing is enormous. Besides, you’d be the only woman to have a hand in this business. A public hand, with a weighted opinion. I know that has to mean something to you.

I rubbed my shoulder. I’m sore, I said finally. Hard to think bout nothing else.

I’m sorry.

Your nose looks better.

Aye?

I angled closer, inspecting it. He smelled nice. Yes, I said. It’s healing up well.

How long do you expect you’ll need? Fin asked. To get into working order yourself?

I ain’t a shirker. I’ll be back straight away.

Fin grinned. No, he said. You ain’t a shirker.

He was still watching me all hopeful. I sat back in my chair, breathing in and out, thinking. You know, I said after a moment, I been helping other folks with their ambitions my whole life. Men in particular. Everything I got, everything I done, was colored by their aims.

I understand, Fin said.

I’m only just now coming to my own. I like what I do. I like what I earnt. This shipyard is coin in my pocket, but it ain’t progress.

I know I’m asking a lot of you.

You can’t even know what you’re asking.

Consider it, he said. Please.

He was leant forward on his elbows, holding my gaze, hands folded in front of him. His curls were all over, and he was wearing a dress shirt with pajama pants, like he’d been asked to breakfast in the middle of changing. Or maybe he just forgot to put on the right pants. I could figure him bout to put on his trousers, and getting distracted by his telescope instead. I started to smile. He smiled back, slow. What? he said. Are you thinking how dear I am to you?

I don’t know about all that, I teased.

You’re dear to me, he said sweetly. When I laughed, he asked, What? and I said, Don’t soft soap me with that line.

Fineas laughed too. You are, he said. You’re my closest friend.

I blushed, and it felt like it went all the way to my toes. I never seen Fin try to curry favor this hard. It was mighty charming, I got to admit. You’re staging for this shipyard, I said.

He grinned big. I’ll treat you to dinner.

Dinner? I can get that myself.

There’s a magic show in town. The tickets are almost impossible to come by. I have a pair, I’ll take you.

I let him wait it out before I answered, What I could truly use is some nursing.

We’ll get someone to tend you straight away, then.

I could use nursing, I said, from my dearest friend in the entire world.

Then he did his full belly laugh. Truly? You’d make me wait on you hand and foot?

I got a long list of demands. That ain’t but the start.

Fin opened his hands like I ought to let him hear, so I begun saying anything that came to my head, like I wanted a office, a real office, and I ain’t working Sundays and I don’t like waking early or leaving late, so I will work nine to four and that’s it, and I like eating bagels in the morning so I would like them brought to me. Fineas didn’t interrupt. When I paused, he said, That’s it?

I want a numbers man for myself, too. I want to pick him.

Who’d you have in mind? Fineas asked, and I said, A fellow named Greeves from back home. I’d like to bring him out, set him up in a house.

Fineas only hesitated a moment. All this, and I still have to attend you?

And I want to go to the magic show, I added. And I do want that dinner.

Fineas gave another laugh. You’re such a shyster, he said, but he said it awful affectionate. We held each other’s gaze. His was blue as a dragonfly’s wings. So you’re in this with me? he asked. You and me, aye?

I nodded. You and me.

Partners?

Partners, I agreed.

He put his hand out, and I took it, and we shook. So now I suppose I am running a dock. I don’t even know what it will be about except I will need to figure some accounts and workers and Fin said he will do all the labor, even though I had hoped for that part too. It sounds like I will be stuck with the dull background work while he is in front, loading and hauling and shouting directions. I swow, ain’t that the way it always goes. This better be some fine nursing and dinner, that’s all I got to say.

Margaux and me is back to fighting. She recovered from her sickness and had the sand to complain at me when I got back to the hotel, saying that I didn’t care none for her, even though I was healing up from being shot. Then when I told her my news, she bust into tears. You hate me! she bawled, and locked herself in the bathroom. She didn’t come out for a hour. At first I knocked and asked her through the door what was wrong, but she ignored me, so I ignored her. I went and sat on the bed and read a book. When she finally came out, she said if I took Greeves away from Oregon then Peter would follow. And then who would give her money, she said, if Peter was up here in New York? She would starve.

You still got Pop and Beulah, I said, and Michael and Joseph.

Michael has his own family to support, she said. And Joseph is gone.

What do you mean, Joseph is gone? I heard he was on the farm.

Maybe he is, she admitted. I never visit.

Then she went and cried more that Ronan and Kitty was getting hitched in three days and she had to go home after that and be alone. I will never have another man, she sobbed into the bed. I will be beautiful and lonesome forever.

You could go out and get wed tomorrow if you wanted, I told her. Stop griping. Find that sheriff you was sweet on.

He’s already married! she howled into the pillow.

My ears must of broke. What?

Margaux just cried and cried, and then she said he had begun to visit her and take her to gardens, and he even kissed her two times, and they held hands and such. And then I found out he had a wife! she wailed. He had left her behind in Killmayne. He wasn’t widowed at all!

Like you ain’t widowed? I teased, but she ignored me. A wife, she said, and four children, and still he carried on with me! Disgraceful. He sullied me, Sophie. He sullied me and continued on his way. She stewed. I almost made another joke about them being cut from the same cloth but held back, as she was so worked. Men are vile, she said. They’re wicked, deceitful beasts.

I ain’t arguing, I said. I had bad luck with them myself.

She finally sat up on the bed, her fists closed. I could see her thinking hard. Then she said, You should give me a job.

I scoffed. No.

I can do your papers. Or whatever it is you do. I can work for you, and then I won’t need a husband.

You got to be joking.

You owe me, she said, for taking away Peter.

I don’t owe you nothing, I said. And that ain’t how you get a job. You don’t just got to someone and say they got to give you one.

Isn’t that how you got yours? Margaux said, pointed. I raised my brows. Pardon? I said.

You asked your husband, she said. And he indulged you. And then you asked Fineas, and he indulged you too.

You think that’s how this was? I said, getting agitated. You think I was given a thing? No. I asked no adds, and I wasn’t granted any.

Maybe you weren’t using words, Margaux said, and she looked right at my body. That was it. I was mad as a hornet. You know what? I said. This room is paid out for the week, and you go to your wedding and you have a fine time. Then you go home and you don’t write me again. I’m done with you.

You’re vexed, she said, and I snapped, I am vexed! There’s women out there who ain’t leeching off other folks. We ain’t all whoring ourselves in some way. And you disrespect me when you presume so.

I didn’t stay even around to argue. I just left. I went next door and had dinner, and I didn’t speak to her again. Days passed, and Ronan and Kitty got wed, and I didn’t go because I wasn’t invited. Fin did. He didn’t say much about it. It was long, he admitted when I asked. A long day. Him and me was seeing to the shipyard’s finishing touches before opening. It is a thing to see, this shipyard. Everything is new and strong. The docks go bout a mile over water, and there is a building that has a bottom floor for the workers to eat and rest, and a top floor for offices. We were fitting together desks. They came in pieces so we got to assemble them ourselves, and Fin was hammering away in earnest.

Did you dance? I asked. Fin nodded, angling one of the holes. I did, he said. I never seen you dance, I said. You’ve never gotten me drunk enough, he answered. Then he pointed for a nail, so I fetched it for him.

You dance with any women? I asked.

Fin nodded. I did.

You courting anybody?

Nothing that serious, he answered lightly. I’m not particularly looking. I have Thomas. He’s enough.

I waited, and he kept hammering. I finally walked over and begun to put my own desk together. I was lining up the legs with the top when I asked, How was my sister? She still sad?

She didn’t seem sad.

I thought she’d be sore about me sending her back to Oregon.

Fin laughed. She’s not going back to Oregon, he answered. Ronan’s paying her way at the hotel another month while they honeymoon. He said he’d move her into a row house on their return if she liked.

That– I began, but I didn’t even know where I was headed with the sentence. I seethed, nailing and banging that desk together. She gets everything her way. I don’t know the hold she got on people.

How is your Friday? Fineas asked after a time.

What? I asked.

Friday. Are you free?

This Friday? I said. I got some morning deliveries.

Can I have your afternoon?

We got more work?

Pleasure, mostly, he said. I want to look at a church for Rose’s wedding with you. And then we’ll do our meal and magic show.

I never got my nursing, I answered, and when he looked over at me, I gave him a smile. He smiled back. Just show up at my room whenever you need it, he said. I’ll make sure to attend you fully.

His eyes sparkled, then he returned to his desk. I didn’t know what to answer, so I just sat there still and quiet. He acted awful calm about the whole matter, so I must of misunderstood his intent. I peeked at him while he hammered. Fineas lined up another nail, and swung. It went right in.

I am staying at Madame Renard’s right now because I have got no place else and I don’t want to buy a home yet, not till I figure where to put down roots in the city. It is fifty dollars a night for a room by your lonesome, and only sixty dollars for a room with a moll. I suspect I am getting a bad deal sleeping alone.

There is no women here I like, though, except the redhead who always wears a gold dress. I seen her in the hallways sometimes or by the piano, laughing prettily. Madame said that is Clementine, the one who has eyes for me too. I have admired her from a distance, but am too shy to approach, and she is busy with her guests, so we have never spoke. I don’t even know what I’d do with her if I bought her, but she looks soft and warm.

The other news is that the post came today. Two good letters. The first is from Michael, who says that Missus Moriarty will come up next month with the younger children. So I am getting to see her before the wedding! I will miss my brother’s company but I am filt up with joy to see my bosom friend again. The other letter is from Greeves. He said he is glad for the job as my accounts man. I AM HUMBLED, he wrote. ALLOW US A WEEK TO GATHER OUR THINGS AND CLOSE OUR AFFAIRS. PETER AND I ARE EAGER TO BEGIN IN A NEW CITY. I am awful glad they is still coupled. Seems like so many folks have split or died or run off, so it is good to hear of some happy love in the world.

I got all my bourbon delivered this morning and then met up with Fin at his workshop after, bout two in the afternoon. I didn’t know we was supposed to be so fancified, I said when he opened the door. Fineas looked down at his suit. It was charcoal wool, and had a smart vest underneath and slim cut trousers. It was in my wardrobe, he said. That was a lie. I never seen before and I expect he picked it out for the occasion. I thought it sweet that he dressed up.

First me and Fin had to visit churches for Missus Moriarty’s wedding. I never had a true wedding before, so I didn’t know all the work that went into one. Catholic weddings is mighty balled up, too. Turns out they like keeping things how they are, so the insides of the churches don’t change much and the ceremonies is the same no matter where you go. A priest told us all about it. There’s a long parade you do and then there’s prayers, and they read the Bible and do a sermon and then they give rings to each other and then they put flowers by the Virgin Mary, then there’s some more praying and blessings. It sounds awful. It took all I got just to listen to it one time, and I can’t even figure sitting through all that.

But Fineas likes it, I can tell. He is a holy person. He acts real at peace in church even though I am crawling out of my skin, and I’ll reckon he listens to the pastor when he is at the pulpit, too. I can’t do that. Sitting in a pew makes me tetchy, and hearing about being set on fire ain’t enjoyable.

What do you think? Fineas asked when we was leaving the Church of Saint Joseph.

You will have to marry a awful patient woman someday, I said. He laughed. I like the ceremony, Fin answered. It feels timeless.

It sure does, I said. It goes on forever.

No, he said, still smiling. I mean that it has a history to it. My great-grandparents were married that way. My grandparents, my parents. Ronan. Someday Thomas may be. It’s nice to be a part of something larger, something ancient.

I shook my head. It ain’t for me.

Maybe you’ll reconsider, Fineas said, if you fall in love with a nice Catholic boy.

I’m sworn off fellows, I said. They bring me nothing but tears and problems.

We both stopped in front of the church, looking back. It is on Sixth Avenue and looks much like the banks and offices there, with two front pillars and wide steps up, and no steeple to speak of. I wouldn’t of even known it was a church if there wasn’t a cross stuck up on top. It ain’t very romantic looking, I said.

Well, it’s Irish, Fin replied. That’s what important to my father.

I answered, I suppose it don’t matter. They’ll be happy enough just being hitched. The prairie chapel me and Aubrey was married in came back to me suddenly. Something deep in me ached.

Fin said next week we got to pick out a cake and figure some invitations, and I said he should talk to my sister if she was still in town, because I don’t have a eye for things like that. If Margaux wants a job, let her fuss over Michael’s wedding. Then she might finally be of use.

It was four thirty by the time we were done, and our tickets for the magic show was at five, so we decided to have our dinner after. The Winter Garden Theatre is dreadful fine. It is the nicest theater I ever been in, and has a big stage with shiny curtains on top that can draw closed, and seats on the bottom floor with more seats in balconies on the side. There is three whole levels of seats. I was hoping to be on the bottom floor but Fineas said he paid extra to be in our own booth. Why we have to pay more coin to be further away and on our lonesome makes no sense, but they are free tickets, so I didn’t complain.

What’s the name of the magic show? I asked.

L’Illusionniste, Fineas answered. It was brought over from France. It’s been very well-received.

I got settled into my seat. Fineas asked if I wanted ale when a server came around, but I said I was fine. Fin got hisself a glass. I watched him drink out of the side of my eye. He was acting curious, jiggling his knee and leaning in and out of his seat. Are you in liquor already? I wondered.

I’ve been looking forward to this, he said, all week. I’m excited.

Nothing like a good magic show, I answered. Fin parted his lips some to speak, then smiled and nodded. Yes, he said. I love magic.

The lights dimmed and then the stage lit up with candles. We all clapped as the show started. First a woman sidled on, and smiled for us, and then a man appeared in a top hat. He showed her to a box, and she laid inside. Her head was out the top end and her feet was out the bottom, and there was a lid over her midsection, like a coffin. He closed her in, and then the man in his top hat took out a knife. My heart started pounding. The woman laughed, but I leaned in, worried. He walked over and stabbed the box, and the woman made a face of surprise. The audience was real worried. Careful! a man shouted from the floor.

The magician took out a saw and began to saw the box in half, right down the woman’s body, but no blood was coming out and the woman was still smiling at us, and I was so confused. Then the magician pulled the two boxes apart, and her head was coming out one end and her feet was still in the other, and they were both moving. We all whistled. Fineas was still in his chair, but I had gotten out to lean over the railing and see better.

Then the magician put the box ends together, and tapped on the woman’s head and feet so she could draw them in. She curled up in the box, and he took the lid off. Then he turned it around, and it was empty! I had my hand over my mouth. Then the spotlight went to the top of the stage, where the woman was, whole as anything. She was on a trapeze swing, and she began to laugh and wave. Everyone watching was going crazy. There was gasping and howling and cheering. And then the light filled up the whole stage, and the magician said, Welcome to our humble show, and he took his hat off to take a bow. It was Amos.

I thought I might faint. My legs just buckled under me.

Amos smiled. He didn’t look a day older. He was exactly how I remembered, but better, and bigger somehow, and mighty confident. He waved to the girl on the trapeze, and she climbed right off the trapeze into thin air, and walked down to him like she was on stairs. I felt like I was seeing Jesus do a miracle.

I stayed there the whole show, half out of the balcony, gripping on the rail, staring wide-eyed while he did his tricks. It was something to behold. I tried to recall him being mine once and us in our bed on warm mornings, and the way his eyes had been when he saw me each night. But it was like thinking of a beautiful story I heard as a child. He was as near and far to me as he’d ever been.

When he did his final bow and the curtain closed, I turned to Fin. My face must of been wild because he couldn’t stop laughing. Did you like it? he asked. It was incredible, wasn’t it?

It was incredible, I agreed. Then I said, I got to go real quick. I got to speak with him.

Who?

The magician, I said. Amos Handey.

Fin was startled. You’re familiar?

Yes, I said. Very much so.

I hurried out of my booth and past all the stuffy ladies and men with tight waistcoats, and rushed down to the main entry hall. I could hear Fineas behind me for a few steps, but then someone called his name, and he stopped to greet them. I didn’t know where Amos would be. I asked around a few workers, and they all said no one was allowed back with the performers, but I finally got one who was a young fellow that could be bribed. I gave him five dollars and he hustled me backstage quick.

There was a long hallway with little rooms off the side. Only one had a light on.

I saw him soon as I got to the doorway. He was standing at a vanity. It had a mirror, and he was leaned over it, looking down, washing a rag off. There was scarves and props hung over the wall. His top hat was on a hook. I could see bits of him in the mirror’s reflection. His dark hair. The curve of his ear. His temple. I waited. I didn’t want to leave and I was afraid of him seeing me at the same time. His whole room smelled of honey.

Amos dipped his rag into a bowl, and looked back to his mirror. He rubbed some black liner off below his eyes. He dried his face with a towel. Then he noticed me. It was the longest minute in the world before he turned around, slow. His suit was first-swathe. It wasn’t nothing like the tattered clothes I was used to.

Hello, he said. His eyes were same blue up close.

I took a step in his dressing rooms, unsure of myself. Hello, I breathed. My heart was fluttering like a bird in my chest. I said, It was a out-and-outer show.

Thank you, he said. We brought it over from France.

I heard. I paused. I’m glad you came back, I said. I couldn’t dream anything so fine.

There was a quiet between us, and then he smiled. He set the towel he was holding down onto the vanity desk, opening his arms. I rushed forward and held him, burying my face into his throat. I could feel my whole body trembling against his. You’re still too thin, he whispered in my ear.

I know, I whispered back. You’re still magic.

Amos laughed. What happened? he asked, touching the stitch on my throat.

Trouble, I said.

Causing?

Stopping. First time in my life.

I’m relieved to hear it.

I put my hand up on his cheek, and we bent our heads together. I was going to say something else when I heard the door open. He glanced up. His face got even warmer. Melanie, he said. There you are. Come in, there’s someone I want you to meet.

She treaded into the room, shy at first, but then a bit bolder as she got closer to Amos. He drew her into his side easily as he let me go.

Sophie, he said. This is my wife, Melanie. Melanie, this is Sophie. She’s an old relation.

We considered each other over. She had a heart-shaped face and the hair that fell in gold waves. Her eyes were a clear green. Hello, Sophie, she said. A pleasure to make your acquaintance. She had a accent that made her voice sound like bells. Her hand went to her belly, and rested on the bump there.

I felt like I was staring but I couldn’t help it. It was all I could do to keep breathing. Finally I said, You’re having a child.

We are, she said.

Congratulations, I said. How did– how did all this happen?

Amos smiled. Very quickly, he answered. We met in Rouen last summer. There was a festival along the Seine, and I was performing. We were married a month later, and a month after that… He laughed, touching Melanie’s belly.

That’s… I exhaled, shaking still. Real fine luck, I said.

His face was still glowing. I thought he had been so glad to see me and now I wondered if it weren’t the way he looked all the time now. All he wanted was to be a knowed magician and a pa, and he done it. He done it, all by hisself.

There was a rap on the doorframe, and we looked over. Fineas was waiting. I’m here to collect my date for the evening, he teased.

Is this– the new husband? Amos asked.

Fin didn’t miss a beat. I’m sorry to disappoint, he said. Fineas Moriarty. He walked in and put his hand out. They shook.

He’s my friend, I said. I looked at Fin. My dear friend, I added.

It was a wonderful show, Fineas said to Amos. The tickets were almost impossible to get, but certainly worth the effort. If you’re ever in the city again, we’ll be back in attendance.

Thank you, Amos said. The words are most appreciated.

Fin tipped his head, and Amos smiled. You ought to let me buy you both dinner, Fin continued. We’re heading over to Chumley’s on Bedford Street after this. I’ve met few of Sophie’s friends, and your company would be an honor.

Melanie wrapped her arm through Amos’s. He glanced down at her. It’s a kind offer, Amos said, but we’re both very tired. We came off the ship yesterday, and Melanie needs extra rest right now.

Of course. I felt Fin’s hand on the small of my back. Another time, then, Fineas said.

Amos said, Another time.

I looked at Amos, trying to remember him in case our paths didn’t cross again in life. You done a good job, I told him, feeling my chest tighten. In everything. You always done good. I paused. I’m glad you got all that you deserved.

Thank you, Amos said again, but softer. He held my gaze. I nodded, and he put his hand out. I took it. I would of gave it a kiss but we was in front of everyone, so I just squeezed it and tried to smile, and he squeezed back.

Write me when you have your baby, I said, and I’ll send a gift.

I’m afraid we’ll be overseas again by then, Melanie said.

Sophie runs a shipyard, Fineas answered. It won’t be a trouble.

A shipyard? Really? Amos said. You always were ambitious, Sophie. My heart squeezed. We’ll write, he said, and then he let go of my hand. Melanie pulled on his arm, and he turned to her. They whispered a moment. Then he said, Of course we can, sweetheart, and she followed him to get his jacket and hat off the hook. When me and Fin left, I peeked back at them a last time. Her head was rested on his strong shoulder.

The rest of the night was quiet and dark to me, like the world was moving round me instead of me moving through it. There was dinner, but I didn’t eat much, and Fin did most of the talking. He thought he’d figured out one of the tricks in the show, and was trying to draw it in the air for me, how it was rigged. When I shrugged, Fineas said, I’ll sketch it for you. It’s a clever mechanism. I said I didn’t care how it was done and that was the best thing about magic. It gave you cause to believe in something without reason. Fineas went silent, trying to catch my eyes, but I looked away.

I’ll get you soup from the corner store, I replied. It’ll taste fine.

But I want Kitty’s.

Kitty probably don’t even make her soup, she just gets her passel of cooks to do it for her.

She does, Margaux said. She makes it herself.

There ain’t any curing in it, I answered, and she insisted, There is! Then she made more sad lung noises so I would pity her.

Where does Kitty live? I asked.

It’s on a street with trees.

That’s all the streets uptown!

It must be uptown, then, Margaux answered. It also has shuttered windows.

You are no help, I said, but I was more distracted by that point than mad. I got my chamber into place, and revolver holstered. Stay put, I told her. I’ll get your soup.

Leave money, she whispered. In case I need to call on room service. She coughed again. I Dad. I put a two note on her end table and headed out.

I didn’t have time to run today so I took a fare carriage to the Moriarty house. I was hoping for Fin, but Ronan answered the door, and I said Margaux called for Kitty, and could Kitty please make some soup and bring it over?

She is quite welcome to dine here, Ronan said.

Well, she’s sick, I told him. That’s why she wants the soup brought to her.

Ronan’s eyes got sharp. Sick? With that?

Nothing so bad, I’m certain.

How can you be certain? he asked. Are you a doctor?

I glanced down at the waiting carriage, then back to Ronan. She’s always dramatical when she catches ill. She’s been like this since she near died of fever.

She almost died of fever? Ronan asked, horrified. Why is she in a hotel?

She don’t have a fever now, I said. That was before. I pointed to my ride. I got to go, I said, but tell Kitty to bring her the soup.

What could be more important than tending to your wasting sister? Ronan demanded, but I just waved him off and hustled back down the front steps. I don’t know why folks is always so worried about Margaux. Nobody is ever worried about me.

I was still figuring a plan on the way to the bank. There would be four of them and one of me, most like, so I couldn’t stop their robbing in full. I just got to slow them. I brung enough bullets for five full chambers, and I am a quick reload.

As the carriage pulled up, the Emigrant Savings Bank was just opening its doors. I walked round back, looking for Reggie or Felix, but there was nothing. Indoors was equally empty. The whole room was quiet and calm, like a library or a funeral. Folks was just waiting in line. It was mostly business men. I only counted two women, and both of them mothers. One was carrying a babe with dark curls and dark eyes. She had a thumb in her mouth, and watched me over her ma’s shoulder. I watched her back.

Can I help you, ma’am? one of the clerks asked.

I’m fine, I said. Just waiting for a friend.

He nodded, and walked away. I waited. I had to relief myself but I didn’t want to move and have them walk in and try shooting their guns off the minute I left. But a hour went by, and the clerk came over again, and said maybe I got my times wrong. Some of the customers are getting nervous, he said. They’re not used to the loitering. He paused. Or the suit, he said.

This is a fine suit, I answered. They ought not be concerned. I was about to bust by then though, so I took my leave to find a outhouse.

It took near ten minutes before I could find one and use it. When I came out, I noticed some mud on my boots and sighed. They was my newest boots, and it agitated me worse than it ought to of. I tried kicking them clean on the nearest wall to no avail. I finally bent down and spit on the toe, rubbing it with my jacket sleeve. Can’t win today, I muttered to myself. Then I looked up, in the direction of the bank, and picked out the back of Virgil’s head.

A cold came over me. He didn’t see me, and I didn’t see Aubrey with him. I wouldn’t of spotted him out so easy except it for his skin color, as this was a area of white fellows.

Virgil paused on the bank steps. He had a bandana tied around his throat. He pulled it up over his nose, and my heart was in my throat, and I saw him touch his holster.

Sophie? came a voice.

I turned. Fineas was standing there, in a new suit. He was carrying a leather satchel. What are you doing here at this hour? he asked.

I can’t, I said.

He grinned. Can’t what?

I can’t talk now.

I glanced back at the bank steps. Virgil was still there. Fineas took a step toward me, following my gaze. Old friend? he wondered. But then he saw Virgil’s bandana, and the gun. Christ, he said.

I didn’t even have a chance to say nothing, because Fin broke into a run. His satchel was slung sideways over his body, and banged against his hip. I ran too, but I wasn’t as fast as him. Virgil was already going in the bank. Fin! I shouted, but Fin didn’t slow. He was weaving through folks and just missed a lamppost. I tripped over a crate. The wood stung my shin, but I kept going.

Fineas went all the way up the steps and through the bank doors, and I could hear someone inside say loud, Mister Moriarty! What a pleasant– and then a woman screamed. By the time I got inside, Virgil had a gun to the mama’s head, the one with the dark-eyed baby. The babe was wailing. Fin was standing about two feet away, his weight tensed.

I flipped my own fire out and trained it on Virgil. Virgil finally noticed me. His face was still ruint, all the side of it warped like he had been left in the sun too long. Let her go, I told him. She got nothing to do with this.

Virgil said to the bank clerk, Empty your drawers. In a bag. Now.

Virgil, I said.

He took his gun off the woman for a split second, and fired at me. A pain lit up in my neck. I stumbled back, time slowing a bit. I heard screaming echoing in my ears, and I thought that this ain’t the way it’s supposed to be, I ain’t supposed to die like this. I was mad. If I die, I thought, by Virgil shooting me in the blamed throat, then that is a stupid end to everything I been through.

Fin darted toward Virgil, and Virgil fired at him, but Fin was already out of the way. Virgil is better with a pistol but Fin is trained to be deft. I was still on the ground, on a knee. Fin had landed a punch to Virgil’s head, and Virgil let go of the woman. She fell forward. The baby, I thought, but the woman caught herself before hitting the ground. Everything was happening fast and dragging at once.

Virgil hit Fineas with the barrel of the pistol once, and Fin stumbled, but Fineas grabbed his legs and they both went down. A man was touching my throat. It didn’t hit the bloodline, he whispered. It didn’t hit the bloodline.

I heard the doors bang open again, and Aubrey was there with Felix and two other fellows I couldn’t place. They was all wearing the same bandanas, but I would know Aubrey anywhere, even without his height and wild hair coming out from under his hat.

I looked at Fineas, who was bleeding from the mouth but had Virgil pinned and was managing his gun away from him. This is a stick-up! one of the other men shouted. The fourth man aimed his pistol at Fin’s head.

I fired. The fourth man’s ear exploded. It must of been a head shot but all I saw was his ear come off, and the bandana fill up red, and he slumped. Sobs and pleas filt the bank up.

Aubrey saw me. He pointed his gun at me. Our eyes met.

I wanted to say something, but there wasn’t nothing to say. I want that money! the third man shouted. He went to the bank teller’s half wall and kicked it, hard, and the teller flinched. Aubrey was still looking at me.

Fineas had Virgil’s gun. I saw it from the corner of my eye. Virgil was still putting up a fight. Felix was waving his gun around, shooting plaster in the ceiling, scaring the crowd, and then he saw Fin and Virgil milling. Felix moved like he was bout to help his brother.

I cocked my gun, and shot at Felix. I got him in the ankle. He went down, and Aubrey blasted at me. He missed. I weren’t surprised. I shot at him too but I missed on purpose to make it fair. Shut the hell up, the third man swore at one of the mothers that was nearest him. He kicked her in the face while she was huddled, crying, and then kicked her baby.

Something fierce surged up in me, and I struggled to my feet, bleeding and sore. I fired at the third man, and he spun, firing back, and I kept shooting. Two shots was all I needed, one in the belly and one in the chest. He nicked my shoulder, but I wasn’t feeling no pain at that point. The man cracked his head on the bank counter as he went down.

I felt Aubrey behind me. I been so focused on the other shooter that I didn’t hear him, and all of the sudden his forearm was against my throat. I struggled, but he had me in a chokehold. He kept one gun on the bank teller, and squeezed me with the other arm, like it ain’t nothing. I couldn’t breath. I felt my feet coming off the floor, and he was shouting beside me, but the words became softer and ran together, and the world got darker, and then it was all black.

I wish I could write what happened then. I don’t rightly know. Of all my regrets in life, one is that I was a part of such a big hold up and only got to see but half of it.

I was out for six minutes. Six minutes, and they finished robbing the bank. When I came to, the first thing I felt was cold. It was against my arms and my back, and I opened my eyes, and focused on the ceiling. I was laid out on the bank floor. My head was resting on something hard. Then I heard, She’s awake, she’s awake, and I saw a bunch of heads swimming over mine. Fin said, Give her room. Give her space.

I tried to talk but my throat hurt worse than it ever had in my life. I wondered if it were crushed forever. I tried to touch my neck, but my arms and legs were too heavy to lift. It felt like needles were sticking in all my skin.

Fineas was there all of a sudden. I saw his eyes first, his blue eyes, and then his curls, and then his mouth. They all became clear to me one at a time. He had a busted lip and his nose was purple at the bridge, but he never looked finer to me.

Sophie? he said.

I croaked. He put his hand on my cheek. Sophie, he said again, but thick with worry. You’re shot.

I tried to swallow. Water, I finally said.

Someone get her water, a woman called, and the clerk put his arm around me. I recognized him. He was small and young. He lifted me up, and someone brought me a cup of water, and I tried to swallow. It burned. Then I coughed, and Fin was watching me, his hand over mine. Can you talk? the woman with the baby asked.

There was a awful lot of people. I wasn’t used to so much attention. Yes, I managed to say.

A doctor is on the way, Fineas said. It looks like the bullet grazed your throat, but there’s another in your leg.

He got me? I asked.

Who?

Aubrey.

I don’t know, Fineas said. I don’t know who it was.

I went quiet. We stayed there, and the police was streaming in, and some old sawbones came and looked me over. Fin didn’t leave my side the whole time. Then some reporters showed up, and the clerk said nobody was talking, go away. But that wasn’t true. There was so much noise. All I wanted was to be in the middle of a field with nobody near me ever again.

The doctor took a needle to my throat, which made me shake in pain, and closed the bullet wound with a two stitches. Turned out that Fin actually needed one, too, in his cheek. We was a real poor pair. The doctor looked at my two other shot blasts, too, but he said my shoulder was a burn and the leg was straight through. I only got linen wraps for them.

The hullabaloo of folks was still going on when Mister Moriarty showed up. Da, Fin said. Fineas was knelt by me, but he stood to embrace his father. I heard a son of mine tackled a robber, Mister Moriarty said, and I knew at once which son. That made Fin laugh. Mister Moriarty held him a moment longer, and kissed him on the unhurt cheek. Then he looked down at me.

And you, Mister Moriarty said. His voice was gruff. I heard you were involved.

I nodded. Mister Moriarty lowered himself to where I was slumped. Five robbers, Mister Moriarty said, and only three leave alive. Is that right?

I didn’t know how to answer. I didn’t know that three got out. I reckoned Aubrey, Felix, and Virgil must be celebrating somewhere by now.

Mister Moriarty said, You shot two men, Miss Wilde.

I shot three men, I croaked. I only kilt two.

You feel proud of yourself?

My mouth tasted like copper. No, I admitted.

You should, Mister Moriarty said. Then he patted my head, and stood back up. We are not finished, Miss Wilde, he said. I have things to discuss with you upon healing. He added, You will wear a dress to our meeting. Make note.

Me and Fin watched him walk back out of the bank like it ain’t nothing. There was still blood all over the floor.

The rest of it is boring to speak of and boring to live through. Me and Fin was stuck there until the police talked to us and wrote reports, and we had to tell the story over again, and they even made Fineas walk around and point where everything was. Everyone was telling the same story, but they had to copy it down anyhow. I think those policemen was the slowest writers in the known world. Took them about a minute just to write a sentence.

The sun was down before we was allowed to go free. The doctor cleared us to rest at home, and the police said we done our part, and good job. You hungry? Fineas asked me. I’m starved, I said. Then I touched my throat, so he would know I couldn’t swallow much. Soup, he said.

Kitty makes it good, I told him. It was funny to me, but he just smiled because he thought I was being nice. It was a sad smile, with his split lip.

He went over to pick up his satchel. It must of been what was propped under my head earlier, when I was out. What did you have to do today? I asked. Fin glanced at the bag. He laughed. Oh, he answered. Banking.

You’re having a run on me, I said, and he laughed again, saying, Hand to God. That made me laugh too, which hurt, and my eyes welled, and then I was just plain choked up. Fin got teary-eyed too, watching me. I felt a cry coming on. I had held it in and it was too much. I couldn’t breathe. I bolted outside of the bank, because I don’t like crying in front of folks, and I went around the corner to the alley and put my hands over my face, trembling, and sobbed into my palms. I did it as low as I could. I heard Fineas jogging up next to me. I felt his hands on my shoulders, and my body being drawn against his chest. He just held me. I have not been held so well in my whole life. He pressed my cheek against his throat and rocked me, slow, in place.

I sniffled into his shoulder. I failed, I whispered.

No, he said.

I wanted to stop them, I said, but I didn’t. My voice cracked.

You survived, he said. That’s all that matters.

No, I said, it ain’t, and Fineas answered, Yes, it is. He smoothed my hair down. Let’s get you that soup, yeah?

I nuzzled my face further into his throat, listening to his heartbeat. Then I said, Did he think I was dead?

Fineas didn’t reply. He kept on petting me. When Aubrey left, I said softly. Did he think I was dead?

I can’t know.

Did I look it?

Fin squeezed me. Aye, he whispered. Aye, you looked it.

That good-for-nothing sumbitch mudsill bastard, I swore, but I started crying again. He killed me, I sobbed. He killed me.

No, Fineas said, you’re here with me. You’re strong.

He killed me, I said again, over and over. I kept on repeating it. I thought he loved me, I told Fin. I don’t know why I was talking like this but it was like I couldn’t quit. It was everything at once. It was me and him, and the ring I was still wearing, and the blood all over me. And then I thought of the bleeding. I had tucked it away far back in my heart, and now it flooded me. It hurt awful. It hurt like something closed and hardened being forced to open raw. I couldn’t even pick out my feelings. I couldn’t even give them names.

Mister Abbott was at the end of the alley. He called out to Fin, to ask if we were ready to take our carriage.

Come home with me, Fin whispered in my ear.

I got nothing to give, I told him. I don’t know what it meant but it was how I felt.

Come home with me, Fin said again. Stay till you get your bearings.

I wish I was dead.

Hey, Fineas said. Hey. He pulled back, taking my face in his hands. He held it careful. No, he said. Never.

I hiccuped, and rubbed my eyes. I exhaled. I’m sorry, I said. He was still studying me, serious. It’s been a bad day, ain’t it?

Yes, he agreed. It’s been a bad day.

Fineas, I said.

What?

I forgot to say that I’m real proud of you. When he let hisself smile, I said, I never seen anyone so brave.

His eyes sparkled, pleased but mischievous. Well, he said. I have a lot of money in that bank. He ran his thumb over my cheek. Let’s go, yeah?

Yeah, I answered.

I was so tired that we made it to the coach, and got in, and I rested my head on Fin’s shoulder and we bounced along, and within one block I was asleep. I came to later for a few seconds, and I was in Fin’s lap. I must of sunk down on the ride. The buttons of his trousers pressed against the back of my head. I would of felt rowdy except I was too tuckered to feel much of anything, and my stomach was still empty and my heart was still spoiled. Then I heard him breathing above me, even and slow, shallow, and I knew he was asleep too. I closed my eyes and drifted off again.

I found out later that Mister Abbott had drove us all over New York City in circles so we had plenty of time to rest after our ordeal. It was two extra hours of his day. I thought that was a real kindness.

-

I stayed and healed for two days in the Moriarty house; in the west wing, in a bedroom that was made up for Rose’s return. Someone must truly hate her for how ugly it is. There is a bed with pink sheets and angels carved in the headboard, purple wallpaper, and a gold plated vanity with diamond knobs. I wasn’t allowed to talk to nobody while I healed, not even Fin. The only visitors I got was maids who changed my wound dressings, and Kitty, who didn’t say one word to me, but walked over with a bowl of soup on the second day and put it on the bedside table. She stared at me, then left.

It was good soup. I can’t lie.

They brung me a newspaper, too, which had all the details of the robbing. LEVI GANG STRIKES AGAIN, was the headline. It didn’t mention me or Fin at all, just Aubrey. They got a lot of witnesses to say how fierce he was. The article said two thousand four hundred dollars in cash and five pounds of gold was took, and that two men was killed in the scuffle. Cager Brodhurst and Obed Gillely. I felt a sting in my gut when I read that. I didn’t know I done Obed in. He must of been the one that aimed at Fin, because that was the only fellow that didn’t speak a word. He didn’t even cry out when he died.

I don’t remember waking up. I remember it being dark and then her face over me, blond curls, blue eyes, eyes like all our childhood skies. I saw her clear as anything. Sophie, she said, again, her voice going higher. There’s so much blood.

This will be hard to write but I will say it just as it happened. She said blood, and I stared at her for what seemed like a long spell, confused. I felt my feet cold. I sat up some and looked down for the blanket, and then I saw it, spilling out under me on the mattress. It was red. It was how it looked like when Dan Levi’s life spilt out all over the desert.

I looked at the red coming down my legs and I thought I was dying, and I didn’t know how, and I was sleeping right through it.

I’m sorry, I said to Margaux. The words were thick and mumbled. I didn’t know what else to say. She had her hands over her mouth. I’ll send for a doctor, she said. I’ll call a doctor.

I watched her leave and I sat in the bed and the sun was just creeping up over the horizon and it came through the windows. It lit up the mirror in the far corner. The room glowed yellow. I didn’t move. I stayed on the bed, waiting.

Finally a doctor came but it was a woman. I never had a woman doctor before. I wondered why Margaux ain’t got a man. She couldn’t do nothing right, I swear. Get a sawbones, I told her, but she shook her head. She was still in her dressing gown, her face afraid. You need a woman doctor, she told me. You’re losing a baby.

No, I said. I ain’t expecting.

Not any more, dear, the woman doctor said.

I just laid there feeling leaden and foolish and scared, and it was like it was happening to me, all the medicines they rubbed on my belly, and the woman doctor prodding me like a barn cow, and it was like I was somewhere far off too. Maybe asleep still. I thought maybe I was still dreaming. But Margaux was kneeled by the bedside, holding my hand so tight that my fingers were going white.

It don’t hurt, I said to her.

Hush, Margaux whispered. She was teary-eyed.

It seems it should. It seems it should hurt more, I said.

It hurt for me, she said. She said it just like that. It was one secret she had never told me before, and now that she said it, I wondered if it was a secret at all. Maybe it was how the world works. That we just went through having babies and losing babies, all the time, that all creation is a secret women know amongst themselves, so they don’t always have to share it.

When the woman doctor was done, she told Margaux told have the bed washed, and for me to lie in a salt bath. Margaux nodded. The doctor came over and crouched by me, like my sister had done. You weren’t so far along, she said gently. She was very old. Her face was lined from years of doing this. Her eyes were milky. You can try again, she said. She stroked my hair.

My throat was closing. I couldn’t breathe. I laid there, my eyes stinging, and I whispered, Was it a boy or girl?

It was too small, she murmured. It was too tiny, my dear.

And that was it. I saw Margaux give the doctor money from my wallet, and she sent for room service to run a bath. She helped me get undressed. She sat by the tub while I laid in it, washing my hair and scrubbing my shoulders. We didn’t say much. Finally, at the end, she asked quietly, Was it the outlaw’s?

I nodded.

Will you tell him? she asked.

I don’t know when I’ll see him to say so, I answered. And of all that had happened that morning, those words stuck in my heart as the saddest of them all.

That was all the time I got to mourn, because it was almost eleven by then, and I had my meet with Aidan at noon on the other end of town. I got myself dressed up in my suit. While I was fitting my suspenders on, I saw Margaux taking the sheets off the bed. I’ll get a maid to do that, I told her. Don’t trouble yourself.

It’s private, she said simply. It ought to be handled by family.

I watched her another moment. Then I walked over, and wrapped my arms around her neck. I love you, I whispered into her yellow hair. I’m glad you was here.

She went still. I felt her hand on my arm. Then she patted it once, briskly, and went on about her cleaning. When I left she had the sheets all up in a bag.

I do not know if I am sad yet. There is just a numbness there. There is emptiness but not a ache. There is some of me that is was surprised, that I could hold a baby inside me and not even know, that I could of been a mama, or maybe I was a mama for a few weeks. All this time I felt alone, and I wasn’t. And some of me is not surprised, too. Not surprised that I ain’t a full woman. Not surprised that this is the only pure thing that has come from me and Aubrey together, and it could not take root and grow. It ended fast and bloody and in the shadows. And it seems like life will go on like it always has. I can’t dwell on it no more. There is nothing left to say.

Aidan didn’t tell me much that wasn’t in the letter, only that he got word bout the robbing, and it was from a trusted squealer. He asked five dollars for the tip. I gave him three, saying he could cull a favor later if need be, as I was deeper in politics these days than coin. Aidan spit between his teeth, but didn’t arguefy. He had been drinking since a hour before lunch. The ale had spoiled him for fighting.

What you got planned, cunny? he asked, and I didn’t answer. I don’t know what I will do, but Bourke is not a man for confidences. He is only better a close enemy than a distanced one.

There is nice parts to New York, which are mostly where the Moriarties live, and then there is the rest of New York, which is blamed awful. Five Points is the worst of them all. I try not to go down here unless I got to, and then I head out quick. It is a stinking place, all the dirty-bricked houses too close together, and the streets too narrow so you are shoved against everyone coming and going. The men all all beggars or uniformed. Policemen wear their grimy suits, and the gangs wear their tall hats and loud colors. Most doors is locked tight but the windows is open, and you can hear fellows wailing away of fever in bed and see whores baring themselves for passerbys. Children relief themselves in the streets and vendors pawn rotten fruit. The water runs black down the sidewalks. There is always fighting, and always shouting, and always crying. I read in the papers there is a murder a night here, and I don’t doubt it is true. I wouldn’t doubt much of what is said bout Five Points.

It is hard to imagine so many folks only knowing squalor. Waking up hungered, every day. Scrounging in trash for food, and letting a man lie on top of you and have his fill so’s you can put a roof over your head. Flies and rats and sickness. Some people will be borned to this, and they will die in this, and they won’t never know how wide and beautiful the world can be. They ain’t ever going to escape. They ain’t ever going to be free.

Last errand I got is Madame Renard’s, to tell her about the bourbon. Dockworker strike is over, but the shipments are running two days late. She wasn’t fussed. There are few direct lines to Beam in this town, she said, and they all come from the boat. If you’re empty, so are the other parlors. She was wearing a cameo brooch at her throat, and it was almost like she got two heads. It kept distracting my focus. We’ll be dry together, she said gamely, and we’ll be flush together.

I suppose so, I said.

We were still in the front entry. Come in, my darling, Madame said. You look like you’ve aged ten years since we last spoke.

It’s been a long day, I admitted, and she clucked her tongue. Would a steak cheer you? she asked. Rare?

Medium, I said. That does sound fine.

So she sent for the steak, and had them bring champagne too, and me and Madame sat for awhile. She didn’t ask me direct about my problems. She just asked big questions like how it was having family across the country, and if I was busying myself with shows. I talked and ate. She is a good listener. When I said I had one main problem looming, she asked what sort. I told a man something, I said, and he’s testing me.

Don’t allow it, Madame said. You mustn’t. Males are creatures of habit. You must give them the appropriate boundaries, and reinforce them.

He ain’t really one for boundaries, I said.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, she said, real wise. When I cocked my head, she said, If you rein him in now, you will save yourself a larger fight later.

It was almost like what Aubrey had told me about the elephant. I wonder if he knew those stories would one day be about him.

She asked if I wanted more food, and I said I couldn’t, but she said to eat what I like and we’d cut it from the next shipment. So, since it was my dime and it ain’t burdening her generosity, I ordered jelly and buttered rolls, and fruit ice. After I ate all that, she brought in more champagne. At the end, when I was full as a tick, she asked if I wanted a girl for the night. For you, Madame Renard said, half price.

I didn’t know you served women here, I said.

We get the odd client. She sipped her own glass of champagne. I had imagined you the sort, she said mildly.

Never done it, I answered. Not fully, least.

Perhaps you will indulge yourself in the future, then.

One of the doves walked by with a fellow on her arm. She was laughing at a joke of his, and me and Madame Renard watched her walk away, her hips swaying. Maybe, I said. I was too drunk to be embarrassed.

You could have your pick, I’m certain, Madame Renard said. Clementine asked about you, actually.

Who’s Clementine?

One of my stars, she said. She’s seen you making deliveries. She likes you.

Well, I said. I didn’t know how to answer it. I expect I would disappoint her, I finally said.

Madame Renard was still staring at the empty doorway. I doubt that, she replied. Any kindness would be a welcome break. Her clientele as of late– The Madame shook her head, frowning, and glanced back at me. Her face cleared quickly, like it was a practiced fix. She said, Men are built for many things, Sophie, but loving is not one of them.

That’s awful blunt.

The truth always is.

I said, I got to think there’s some good fellows out there.

Well, we don’t come across them in our line of work. Madame raised a brow. She lifted her glass of champagne. Do we?

There wasn’t no arguing that. I took my glass and tapped it against hers, and we drank in silence.

The last two nights has broke me. I am tetchy and sore and nervous, and even though the bed is clean and Margaux arranged for a new mattress, I can’t sleep any. Every hour is closer to the bank robbing day. When I close my eyes, I see pools of blood. I see it in my bed. I see it in the streets of New York. I have a dark foreboding feeling deep in my gut.

But keeping up didn’t help. Time passed anyhow. It still struck midnight on the clock, and there is only a day left now until the Levi gang is loosed. I tossed and turned so much this morning that Margaux hissed at me to sleep on the floor. I’m sorry, I said. I laid there, staring at the ceiling. I’m going for a walk, I whispered to her after a long spell. She was already snoring.

There was few souls on the street. I went up and down the avenue, staring at the empty store windows, and then stopped in front of the Emigrant Savings Bank. Its doors was locked tight. It was smaller than I expected, but bigger than I hoped. I stood on the corner for what seemed like a hour, just watching the bricks.

I meant to go back to the hotel but I found myself in front of Fin’s house instead. Curious thing, how it crept up on me all the sudden.

When I knocked on his front door, nobody came to answer. I knocked again, and there was still nothing. I must of been up even before the servants started their rounds. I walked around the side of house and found some rocks. I tossed them at his window.

I threw near ten rocks before I saw his face in the top pane. The window didn’t prop open when he tried, so he put a finger up instead. Then the curtains closed. I stood there, waiting, and finally he found me in the shrubs. One side of his curly hair was flattened from sleeping on it. He was wearing wool pajamas. Sophie? he whispered. His voice cracked with exhaustion. What are you doing?

I can’t sleep, I said.

The rest of us can, he answered. It’s three in the morning.

Can I lay with you?

He wobbled a little, tired. Lay? he replied.

Just rest beside you. I was earnest. Just for a hour or two.

Why?

I don’t know. It will calm me, I reckon. When he didn’t answer right off, I pressed: Please.

He yawned. Don’t wake my father, he whispered. I nodded.

We went back to the house, and crept through the halls silent as thieves. When we got to his bedroom, he opened it enough for me to slip through, then locked the door behind us. Fin led me to the bed. He knelt by my feet and untied my boots, taking them off. Then he reached up and peeled free my jacket. His movements was slow and drowsy. What’s keeping you awake? he murmured.

Bad times. Behind me and ahead of me.

He folded up my coat. I can say a prayer for you, he said softly. If you like.

A prayer? I asked.

I’ll ask for God to keep you close.

You would do that? I breathed, and he looked up at me from his spot. I do it every night, he answered honestly.

My heart swelled. I kept staring at him. Sometimes his features was so familiar to me they didn’t warrant a study, and sometimes I could see him like a stranger, how sharp his cheekbones were and how clear his blue eyes. Will you tell me bout the stars again instead? I asked finally. Tell me bout where we start and end.

Fin smiled. He took the blankets off his bed and the pillows and set them on the floor by the window, and I rested my head on his shoulder. We stared up at the night sky, and he pointed out all the constellations. He spoke of comets. He named all the stars for me. I wrapped my arms around myself, shaking, and tried to feel the heavens in my skin.

I ain’t heard what the plucking’s was. I was having pancakes and waffles with butter syrup and coffee. I found a shop by the docks that makes them fresh, and I brung my meal with me. It was a fine morning to be eating out of doors. I nodded to the other end of the bench. You banded? I asked when he sat.

Feck you, he said. I’m always hungered.

I passed over my leftover waffles. He spit on the ground, then took the plate. How’s the family? I asked.

Can’t believe you went to my wife, he said. I don’t even fecking talk to her if there ain’t cause to.

She gave you the money?

What money?

There was fifty dollars stuck inside the envelope, I said, and Aidan swore, That slag bitch! I got the note only! He fumed. His hair was wild. It looked like he been tussling with a army. I’d call you a liar, he said, but I ought to of suspected. I ain’t been allowed to roger her in a moon, and she came at me cockish last night. Woman never fecking lifts her skirts for me like that. He growled, wrathy. Placating me, that’s what she was feckin’ doing. Placating me with her muff while she got her hand in my pocket.

I was bout to tell him I didn’t want to hear no more about him and his wife laying, specially as much as I hated Aidan and how crass he was being, but I figured saying it upset me would egg him on more. So instead, I reached in my pocket and took out a twenty dollar bill. I held it across to him, and he took it with his dirty fingers.

Get the rest from her, I said. There’s something now.

Aidan was still scowling, but he took the money. We ate in silence for a spell. It was quiet morning on the docks. Fin ain’t arrived yet for his shift, and half the workers were home sleeping off a stomach bug. I stared at the ships parked in the water. Aidan finally said, Them bars ain’t yours no more?

No, I said. I don’t know what you’re plucking, so I can’t pay.

Just like that?

Generally, I said. He said, They tired of your face? Or you bowed out on account of being took?

I said, It ain’t the thieving. I got personal ties that came to play, and I moved on. It’s part of what I wanted to speak to you about.

Speak then, cunny.

I got a name, I said. It’s Wilde. I answer to that.

He licked the butter syrup off his lips. Fine, he said. Feck. Wilde.

I waited till I knew he was listening, then said, I’m claiming my part of the city. The Financial District, all the way to this seaport.

He chuffed, taking a bite of his waffle. Yeah?

Yes, I answered. Shipments is mine. Banks is mine. The bars, the hotels, and the whore houses are mine. Any other gang steps on my territory, I’ll end them on sight.

You ain’t got enough muscle to run so much land.

I’m gathering it.

So, he said, you came here to hand me some fecking threats, and to give me fecking waffles? I thought we was doing a deal.

We are, I answered. I want the Dead Rabbits backing in this. I want us brokering a arrangement. He just stared at me, so I said, Respect my ward. Stay off my land, and let the others know to do likewise. Give me word if you hear of a rush in my district, and I’ll do same for you.

I got no cause to help your power grabs.

You do. I got something that you need just as bad.

I ain’t in need of that, he barked. I wouldn’t grind you if you was dying and my lobcock was the cure.

I jerked the plate away from him. I was tired of his mouth. You should be so blamed lucky, I snapped. I seen what you’re going home to, so hobble your lip with them false protests. The day I invited you to my bed would be the day you found God.

There was a long quiet, and then Aidan started laughing. He laughed real hard. You fecking spitfire, he said. I put the plate on the ground. He just kept on laughing, and then he rubbed his face and sighed. So what’s my true prize to helping you, then?

Politics, I said. I know you’re throwing behind Mayor Wood.

Aye.

Why?

Municipal Police has to stand, Aidan replied. We got a hand in them, and law in your hand ain’t a small thing. Wood’s fighting best to keep Municipal. Democrats want a Metro force, though, and wouldn’t the fecking Bowery Boys love that.

I got confides, I said, that grease government wheels. Put in my ear what you want done and I’ll put it in theirs.

He mulled it. You’re took up with the Moriarties?

I’m close with one.

The dock boy? he asked.

Fineas, I said, yes.

Ain’t a bad pull to have, he said. Irish as a clover, them. Neutral in their habits. Gold bricks in their home.

We got a deal? I asked.

Aidan stood up. It ain’t skin off my hide, he said, to say you’re drawing lines. I’ll put word out.

Appreciate it, I told him. I stood too, and offered my hand. We shook. If you was smart, he said, you’d shed some blood. Put some fear behind your gang.

I ain’t running a gang, I said. I’m running a business.

Blood runs everything, Aidan said. Then he spit again, and walked off into the fog. A ship blew its horn.

I was glad to be done with our meet. It has been a long, rollicking week. After the party, me and Margaux have been real nice to each other. She is still prone to whining and pouting if she is not tended proper, but I can spoil her without fear of bankrupting myself, so I do. During the day, I give her coin, and she goes out shopping and eating while I do my business. She asked to go along once, but I was headed to Madame Renard’s, and I figured she would keel over at the sight of all those whores walking around. Some ain’t even got tops on, just jewels. I said I had to stop by the immigrant place instead, and she said on second thought, she would visit Kitty.

I don’t know precise what is going on with them two, but they are close as catfish. I suspect it is because that is how pretty girls are. They either band together or they is enemies. Maybe Kitty figures it is safer to keep Margaux closer, but I can’t be sure. I can’t pretend to understand her awful mind. I happened on them having tea on Tuesday, when I was coming home from my first whiskey delivery, and Kitty said it was a wonder me and Margaux were sisters when Margaux was so fair and I was so brown. She said brown like it was a disease.

I have decided me and her is enemies from here out.

The other thorn in my side is Donovan, who wrote me twice in two days, and they are disgusting letters. He left them wrapped in a vellum sleeve at the hotel desk, and I ignored the first one because I didn’t care enough to open it. After I got the second, I worried something might be wrong, so I took it to fencing with Fineas to read. It began like a love note, with My dear heart, wrote at the top, but then it said, I am ached for want of you, my pet, my love. I dreamt last night of grazing upon the peaks of your breasts, of suckling till you could stand no more, of your wild impertinent eyes and your painted red mouth as it parted.

You have a fireplace here? I asked Fin. He was fixing a sword. No, he said. Why?

I shook my head, and kept reading. It was mostly bout my bosoms and what he intended to do with them. He is imagining them larger than they are, I suspect. The second one was pure laying. I am in agony, he wrote. I am at a permanent hardship, my love, and there is nothing that gives me the release that I know will come from mounting you. I imagine it at all private moments. Do not deny me so cruelly, my little mulatto, my dirty puzzle. I want nothing in this world but to be held prisoner between your thighs, to lap at you, to occupy your tight wet heat.

I must have got a stunned look on my face because Fineas came over and said, What’s wrong? and took it from me. He read it, not saying a word. Then he took the other one away from me, firm, and ripped them up. He threw the scraps on the ground.

Finish readying, Fin said.

I didn’t know what else to do, so I took a foil up and put my headgear on. He pulled on his mask, and we took our positions. We knocked our foil tips a few times till he flicked at my torso. Good job, I said. He exhaled, and then stalked around me. We got into position again, and he came at me quicker. He landed another hit, but he didn’t seem to be happy bout it.

The next time he struck, I parried. He came at me again, and I parried again. You ain’t hitting the forte, I said. That was near handle. You could of took my fingers off.

Fin said, Sorry, but when we went back to fencing and I managed to get at his flank, he didn’t give me break before hitting back. He wasn’t even fencing so much as true sword fighting me. Fencing seems to have a lot of rules and he spent hours telling me how to stand and lunge, but he was in a fury. The workshop was filt with clanging. It was all I could do to hold him off. Quit! I shouted finally. I smacked against his foil as hard as I could, then threw my sword and skulked off. I went to the corner of the shop and sat down, taking off my mask.

Fineas followed me, speaking through the mesh of his headgear. Did you invite those? he demanded.

What?

Those letters.

No! I said, startled.

I know Donovan is forward, and I know he’s smitten with you, but the nature of that– correspondence. He flushed. You encouraged it. You must have.

Don’t be gulled! I said. You know how difficult a time I have reading! I wouldn’t waste my energy on his words.

But you weren’t bothered by them! he argued.

Of course I was, I said, but what’s there to do? He wrote them and sent them and my eyes saw them. It’s done.

Fineas yanked off his mask. Do you want him?

I was exasperated. No!

Do you want his attentions?

No. And you owe me a apology, going off like this. I glowered at him from my chair. It ain’t any business of yours.

He watched me, breathing hard, the headpiece tucked against his hip. His blue eyes flashed. I’m sorry, Fin said finally. I’m just– I’m upset. The idea of you. And him. The things he wrote. There was a hesitation. Don’t reduce yourself to him, Fineas said, his voice thick. It would kill me.

I’m not, I said. I won’t. I wouldn’t.

Good.

We just stayed there a spell, eyeing the other, and then Fin turned and got hisself a glass of water. I ain’t ever seen him so worked. We didn’t even keep fencing. After he drank, he said he had some papers to get to, so I saw myself out. I ain’t spoke to him since.

Dockworkers is on strike. The shipments have come in but there is nobody unloading, so by the time I got to my bourbon delivery, it was mostly ruint or looted. They ain’t letting any other ships dock, either, as the slips are full. I got the last of bourbon and watered it down enough to make my rounds, and took a discount off it for the quality. Good news is they say the shutdown won’t last the week, but bad news is I have lost a fair amount of money on the deal. When Margaux asked if we could go to a minstrel show and dinner tonight, I told her we ought to get a grocery store meal instead. She groused, but I ain’t made of coin.

We had jellied rolls and apples, and took turns reading to each other out of a romance novel. Let me brush your hair, she said after. It looks like a rat’s nest. So I sat down and let her brush. It was quiet for a spell. It felt nice having my hair combed through, especially after such a difficult week.

Katharine and Ronan are to be married in three weeks, Margaux said lightly. I wonder if I ought to stay longer to see the ceremony. She asked me to be a helpmaid.

I don’t know how you stand Kitty.

She makes me laugh, Margaux answered. And she has very good taste. Her eye for gowns is exceptional.

She’s mean and petty.

Perhaps I am more charitable than you. Margaux tugged at a knot. Besides, it would be fun to attend a wedding.

You couldn’t pay me enough to go to that shindig, I said, and Margaux replied, Well, fortunately, you weren’t invited. Her voice was sharp, but then she sighed, and said, It’s just I wish you wouldn’t ruin my happiness. I’m enjoying the life of the city. I find it suits me more than Oregon.

It’s because you’re being spoilt by it right now, I said. If you had to come with your babes, and live in your means, it wouldn’t seem so grand.

Stop being so sour.

I’m tired. I had a bad time at work.

I felt her fingers working near my scalp. She went quiet. Then she said, Is it a man?

What?

Is it a man making you so ill-tempered?

No, I said. It’s work. I’m juggling a awful lot.

Is it your outlaw? Margaux pressed, and I said, It’s neither. It ain’t always got to be a man, Margaux. Anyhow, I thought you understood, because you were done with them.

I don’t know, she said, sounding dreamy and pleased again. If I were as lucky as Katharine, I would reconsider. Ronan is quite a prize.

I didn’t want to hear about Ronan or Kitty anymore, so I said, Whatever happened with you and that Sheriff?

He was a liar, she said briskly. It’s unimportant.

I’d like to hear the story.

Another time. She brushed a few more times, and then sighed. So much better, she said. Much, much better. She smoothed the hair near my crown with a hand. Sophie, she said.

What?

This room seems very small, doesn’t it?

I raised a brow, and glanced around. No.

I just wonder if it isn’t too small for the both of us. There was a long pause. I wonder, she said, if it wouldn’t be better to have two rooms. Then we could keep different hours, and we’d have so much more space.

Do you know how much a room here costs? I wondered. Margaux walked around in the front of me, kneeling by my feet. No, she said. Ten dollars?

Two hundred, I answered.

She bit her lip. Her eyes were huge and pleading. That is awful costly, she said, and I said, Yes, it is.

Still, she said. I wonder. Then she stared at me some more.

I sighed. I’ll consider it, I said, even though I didn’t really want to do any such thing. I was finally understanding why Samuel wanted to run away all those years ago.

There was a knock at the door, and Margaux began to get up. Stay, I said low. I got up, hand on my holster. Who is it? I asked through the door. It’s your lover, Donovan called out.

I looked at Margaux. She looked at me. Really? she whispered, and I shook my head at her.

Go away, I said to Donovan.

Donovan said, But I need to speak with you. It’s urgent. And I brought you a letter.

I’ve read enough of your letters.

This isn’t from me, my pet. It was left for you at the front desk.

I kept staring at Margaux, and I begun to make faces at her. She giggled some. My sister is here, I said.

But of course she is, Donovan purred. Open the door, darling.

I would of left him standing out there but I was curious about my letter, so I caved and let him in. He was dressed in a lilac suit with a charcoal top hat and a pink tie. I have never seen such a colorful outfit in my life. Miss Wilde, he said to Margaux, bowing. May I borrow Sophie for the briefest of minutes?

We were reading a book, sir, Margaux replied. She was trying to save me, which was sweet. But Donovan said, Only a moment, Miss Wilde. There is a iced cream vendor on the front steps– here. He withdrew a dime from his pocket, and held it to her. Treat yourself, he said.

Margaux gave a apologetic look. She couldn’t pass up iced cream, and I knew it. After she took the coin and left, Donovan shut the door behind him. He eyed me lustily. At last, he murmured. He reached out to stroke my cheek, and I knocked his hand away. Where’s the letter? I asked.

He gave it to me. It was just parchment balled up and knotted with twine. This is probably trash, I said, you plucked from the street corner to have a reason to get in.

I assure you, Donovan said, it is correspondence.

I untied the knot, unfolded and read it. CUNNY, it said. EMIGRANT SAVINGS BANK TO BE TOOK, THREE DAYS TIME. LEVI GANG. MEET AT MORNING GLORY PUB, NOON TOMORROW TO DISCUSS.

I reread it three times, the blood boiling up in my chest. For how bad I been feeling over Aubrey, and how much regret I had and sadness and love lost, that mudsill is still going to try and rob me. I should of expected.

Exciting news, my dear? Donovan wondered. You’ve pinked. Perhaps a new chocolatier is opening?

I folded the note up and put it in my suit pocket. Then I turned to him. It’s none of your concern, I answered.

So plucky, he teased. I do enjoy our verbal sparring.

What do you need, Donovan?

I should think it apparent by now, Donovan answered smoothly. He ambled toward the bed. Then, real casual, he touched the white coverlet. Is this where you sleep, love? How very feminine. It excites me to think of the sheets perfumed with your scent.

Can you quit? I demanded. I hate that talk. Quit being flowery, and quit being vulgar.

Donovan stared at me. Then he shrugged, and crawled onto the bed. He laid there, a hand on his belly. Will you sleep with me? he asked, frank.

No, I said. Is that it?

Whyever not? I put the effort in.

Is that what you call your letters? I asked, and he said, serious, It took quite a lot of time to craft those. I went through several drafts.

You got me in trouble with Fineas.

Of course I did, Donovan said. That was half the fun of it.

When I gave him a confused look, he laughed. You don’t know? Donovan added. My brother is celibate.

What does that mean?

He doesn’t give or receive pleasure, Donovan said. Physically. I turned red. Donovan continued, He considers all uses of his body sinful with the exception of manual labor. He believes it’s God’s will. Donovan’s yellow-green eyes were smug. I would imagine it means he’s quite frustrated.

I don’t know why your letter would bother him, though, I answered. I was trying hard not to think of Fin giving and receiving pleasure.

Don’t you? If you were drawn to someone and couldn’t offer them what they desired, wouldn’t you be less than pleased when another could?

Maybe I don’t care bout being physical.

Donovan clicked his tongue. Come now, Sophie, he said. Let’s not be stupid.

I didn’t have time nor energy for this, so I went to the door and put my hand on the knob. Is that all?

It doesn’t bother you? Knowing he will never love you as a woman yearns to be loved?

I waited. He toyed with his tie on the bed, folding it over and over, gazing at me. Finally, I said, I don’t believe a word of your claims. I know he got Camille in the family way.

There was another silence, and Donovan’s face was unreadable. Then he said, I wasn’t aware you knew about Camille.

I met Thomas myself.

Did you?

Even held him.

Donovan exhaled, then chuckled. Well, then. I suppose you know how that dalliance ended. He was tested in his faith, and he succumbed, and at the end he was left alone with a crippled child. Donovan’s eyes sparkled. Such a cruel punishment, he mused. The guilt still eats away at him daily.

Get out, I said.

You wound me, darling.

Get out.

He finally got off the bed, straightening up. I watched him walk to the door. I kept my hand on my revolver, and he saw it. You ain’t welcome here, I said. Next time, we won’t be exchanging words.

Quite a threat from such a rangy little woman, Donovan said. I will be back with my own sizable weapon when next we are alone. And you’re right, we won’t be exchanging words.

I leaned in. I waited till he was discomfited, just some on edge, and then I told him low: You and me is both bad folks, Donovan. Problem is, I know who I’m dealing with. And you got no idea.

You’re a loud, hubristic little tart, is what I know.

Am I? I whispered back. I wonder. When he didn’t answer, I put my mouth beside his ear, and murmured, You know how to butcher a cow? He shook his head. First thing you shoot it between the eyes, I began. You get a knife, and you slit the throat. You want all that blood to drain out easy. Next you get yourself a saw, and cut that head clean off. Donovan listened, not breathing. Slice deep along the legs next, I whispered, so you can peel that hide away. You do your skinning first. Then you can worry bout getting all the insides freed, and pulling out the entrails.

Why are you telling me this? he whispered. A flicker of uncertainty moved across his face.

I’m familiar with the process, I said softly, is all. I touched his cheek like he had done mine earlier, and I felt his muscles twitch, even though he fought not to move. I imagine it’s the same, I added, for all animals.

Donovan didn’t answer, just inhaled and exhaled. Then he said, Excuse me, and opened the door to rush out. He scurried away like he got news his house was on fire. Not a once did he meet my eyes.

Margaux passed him on the way up, but didn’t bother to ask why he was upset. I don’t think she hardly noticed him. They were selling the iced cream for half off! she singsonged as she came back in the room. So I bought you one. I hope you like chocolate. She held it out to me, and I smiled at her as I took it.

It was mighty sweet, and mighty satisfying.